Legoland: A Vaudeville Routine in One Act

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Talonbooks, 2009 - Drama - 71 pages
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Penny and Ezra Lamb are home-schooled by their parents on a hippie colony near Uranium City until the police discover it also happens to be the largest marijuana grow-op in Saskatchewan. "Legoland" is how their pot-smoking elders always described the outside world, and the Lamb siblings are dying to get there.
Once the commune is busted and their parents are sent to prison, sixteen-year-old Penny and her younger brother Ezra, each seething cauldrons of repression, are enrolled in a Catholic private school, where they are instant social outcasts. Penny, ostracized for being a weird "lesbo" (she's not gay), is vulnerably but brilliantly depressive until a classmate gives her a copy of boy band Seven Up's CD and she becomes obsessed with singer Johnny Moon. The self-absorbed Ezra, fixated on German nihilism, plays with his Jeffrey Dahmer puppet, wears white stockings and pops a mind-altering combination of Ritalin and Dexedrine to combat his ADHD.
When Seven Up breaks up, Johnny Moon remakes himself as a misogynistic gangsta rapper. Penny, heartbroken but determined to save him and bring back the "real" Johnny Moon, persuades Ezra to accompany her on a pilgrimage down to Orlando to confront her idol. The Lamb siblings run away from school on a bus tour of the Wal-Marts and McDonald's of the continent, financing their trip by selling the Paxil and Ritalin they've been prescribed.
Arrested and deported for assault after their hilarious encounter with her pop icon, Penny has been ordered to give public service speeches to atone for attacking a celebrity. Dressed in a private school uniform and under the supervision of her social worker in order to avoid doing community service, Penny delivers her hyperactive sermon on juvenile delinquency, including a description of sex as "the Devil's Pilates," punctuated with the scattergun codas of her deadpan brother.

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Contents

Section 1
9
Section 2
11
Section 3
12
Copyright

19 other sections not shown

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About the author (2009)

Jacob Richmond Jacob Richmond studied acting and playwriting at Concordia University in Montreal and at the University of Victoria. His plays include The Qualities of Zero, Small Returns and Legoland. Legoland has won numerous awards across Canada, including: The Contra Guys Award for Best New Play at Toronto's SummerWorks Festival; Pick of the Fringe at the VancouverFringe Festival; Critic's Choice Award for Best Fringe Production in Victoria; and Festival favourite Award at the New York Frigid Festival. Richmond received the Montreal English Critic's Circle Award and was nominated for a Dora Mavor Moore Award. Jacob Richmond Jacob Richmond studied acting and playwriting at Concordia University in Montreal and at the University of Victoria. His plays include The Qualities of Zero, Small Returns and Legoland. Legoland has won numerous awards across Canada, including: The Contra Guys Award for Best New Play at Toronto's SummerWorks Festival; Pick of the Fringe at the Vancouver Fringe Festival; Critic's Choice Award for Best Fringe Production in Victoria; and Festival favourite Award at the New York Frigid Festival. Richmond received the Montreal English Critic's Circle Award and was nominated for a Dora Mavor Moore Award.

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