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abuse accept acknowledge afraid Alice anger angry Anna anxiety anxious aroused asked Audre Lorde aware baby became behavior believe body Carol chap child childhood Claudia Koonz clients complex conditioned condoms created daughters demands depend discomfort discount Ellen emotions expectations experience experienced express father fear felt female feminist therapy frightening handle happened hard helpless heterosexual Holocaust hurt husband important intense intimate relationships Jackie Jackie's keep Laura learned lesbian Lisa little girl lives lover male marriage menopause menstruation Miriam monalities mother needs never nurturance okay one's pain parents partners pay attention perience person portunities pregnant psychotherapy racism realized recalled relationship respect responsible sadness safer sex San Francisco Chronicle sensitive sexual sibility silence someone summer camp talk tell therapy room things tions told trained trust trying unhappy upset vulnerable feelings woman women yearnings