The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband

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Simon and Schuster, Jan 3, 2012 - Biography & Autobiography - 224 pages
40 Reviews
At some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, What the @#!% is wrong with my husband?! In David Finch’s case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn’t make him any easier to live with.

Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband— no easy task for a guy whose inability to express himself rivals his two-year-old daughter’s, who thinks his responsibility for laundry extends no further than throwing things in (or at) the hamper, and whose autism-spectrum condition makes seeing his wife’s point of view a near impossibility.

Nevertheless, David devotes himself to improving his marriage with an endearing yet hilarious zeal that involves excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies that result from self-reflection both comic and painful. They include “Don’t change the radio station when she’s singing along,” “Apologies do not count when you shout them,” and “Be her friend, first and always.” Guided by the Journal of Best Practices, David transforms himself over the course of two years from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest, the husband he’d always meant to be.

Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism-spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.
  

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It's a unique book offering marriage advice. - Goodreads
Insight came in two flavors. - Goodreads
The other set of insights have broader applicability. - Goodreads

Review: The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband

User Review  - Kris Munson - Goodreads

I think David Finch has done a heck of a job writing a book about the trials and tribulations of being married to someone w/Asperger tendencies, and how to turn things around and make the marriage ... Read full review

Review: The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband

User Review  - Courtney Milleson - Goodreads

I needed to read this. Not only because of who we are as a family, but because of who I am. I laughed, cried, and really thought about our lives together. Read full review

All 2 reviews »

Contents

IntroductionDo all that you can to be worthy ofher love
1
Chapter 1Be herfriend first and always
21
Chapter 2Use your words
39
Chapter 3Get inside her girl world and look around
57
Chapter 4Just listen
69
Better to fold and put away than to take only what you needfrom the dryer
89
Chapter 6Go with theflow
105
Chapter 7When necessary redefine perfection
123
Chapter 8Be loyal to your true stakeholders
141
Chapter 9Take notes
159
Chapter 10Give Kristen time to shower without crowding her
171
Chapter 11Be present in moments with the kids
185
Chapter 12Parties are supposed to be fun
197
The Final Best PracticeDont make everything a Best Practice
217
Acknowledgments
223
Copyright

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About the author (2012)

David Finch grew up on a farm in northern Illinois and attended the University of Miami, where he studied Music Engineering Technology. In 2008 he was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. His essay, “Somewhere Inside, a Path to Empathy” appeared in The New York Times and became the basis for this book. David lives in northern Illinois with his wife Kristen and two children and is still a total nerd.

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