My Life as a Dissociated Personality (Google eBook)

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R.G. Badger, 1909 - Multiple personality - 47 pages
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Page 47 - If all the world were apple pie, . And all the sea were ink, And all the trees were bread and cheese, What should we have to drink ?
Page 5 - I am, however, very sensitive and responsive to impressions in the sense that I am easily affected by my environment. For instance, at the theatre I lose myself in the play and feel keenly all the emotions portrayed by the actors. These emotions are reflected vividly in my face and manner sometimes to the amusement of those with me and, if the scene is a painful one, it often takes me a long time to recover from the effect of it. The same is true of scenes from actual life. Before this disintegration...
Page 12 - I done such a thing and my humiliation was deep and keen. as was soon discovered to be the case. A few days after the B complex had appeared in hypnosis this phase spontaneously waked and alternated, as it had previously done, with the A complex. But now, as the writer says, there was amnesia on the part of A for B. The explanation for this is undoubtedly to be found in the fact that a new synthesis and more complete dissociation of the B complex had taken place through the experience of hypnosis.
Page 12 - How can I describe or give any clear idea of what it is to wake suddenly, as it were, and not to know the day of the week, the time of the day, or why one is in any given position? I would come to myself as A, perhaps on the street, with no idea of where I had been or where I was going; fortunate if I found myself alone, for if I was carrying on a conversation I knew nothing of what it had been ; fortunate indeed, in that case, if I did not contradict something I had said for, as B, my attitude toward...
Page 4 - B it was recognized that both states were phases of a dissociated personality, and neither represented the normal complete personality. After prolonged study, this latter normal state was obtained in hypnosis, and, on being waked up, a personality was found which possessed the combined memories of A and B and was free from the pathological stigmata which respectively characterized each.
Page 14 - A's most secret thoughts and perhaps inclosing something I, as A, had written but had not really intended to send you. It is true that, as B, I was perfectly willing to tell you things which, as A, I would rather have died than disclose. Would this not seem to show that even when a personality becomes disintegrated the real self, the ego, remains unchanged and, in a way, governs the whole, even if imperfectly ? Even as B, feeling sure that the integration of the whole self meant my own extinction,...
Page 30 - ... tried to suppress them; tried to put them out of her mind but they still persisted, and she was always to a greater or less extent aware of them. There was no lack of awareness and no amnesia. As the months and years went on the sorrow and anxiety of the C group increased, and the conflicting thoughts and rebellion of the B group increased. C was ashamed of the latter and always tried to suppress such thoughts as they arose.
Page 12 - During the first weeks of my existence as BI had pledged myself to drink no wine. The promise was made under such conditions that no reasonable person could have felt bound by it. As BI realized this and felt no obligation to keep it but as A, I could not feel so, though you had assured me over and over again that I was not in honor bound. I would often wake in the morning, as A, to find a note on my pillow or on the table usually of a jeering tone telling me to "cheer up...
Page 9 - I tried, [ie she was again governed as formerly by the B complex]. I would not refuse the demand for help which was made upon me because, as B, I had promised my aid, but in complying I was obliged to do things which seemed to me, as A, shocking and unheard of. I felt that my conduct was open to severe criticism but I had promised and must fulfil though the skies fell. It seems to me now, in the light of our present knowledge of B, that I, while in this A phase, was in a sort of somnambulistic state...
Page 8 - I felt much younger and looked so, for the lines of care, anxiety, sorrow, and fatigue had faded from my face and the change in expression was remarked upon. I neglected my family and friends shamefully, writing short and unsatisfactory letters and leaving them in ignorance of my health and plans; business affairs I washed my hands of entirely. I lost the formality and reserve which was one of my traits. My tastes, ideals, and points of view were completely changed. I remained in this state for some...

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