Mr. Funny Pants (Google eBook)

Front Cover
Hachette Digital, Inc., Feb 22, 2011 - Humor - 288 pages
31 Reviews
I was at my wit's end. I'd had enough of this job, this life, and my relationship had broken up. Should I eat chocolate, or go to India, or fall in love? Then I had a revelation: Why not do all three, in that order? And so it was that I embarked on a journey that was segmented into three parts and was then made into a major motion picture. Later, I woke up on an airplane with a hole in my face and a really bad hangover. I was ushered brusquely off the plane by my parents who took me to a rehab where I tested positive for coke, classic coke, special k (the drug), Special K (the cereal), mushrooms, pepperoni, and Restless Leg Syndrome. It was there that I first began painting with my feet.

But rewind...the year was 1914. I was just a young German soldier serving in the trenches while simultaneously trying to destroy an evil ring with some help from an elf, a troll, and a giant sorcerer, all while cooking every recipe out of a Julia Child cookbook. What I'm trying to say is that there was a secret code hidden in a painting and I was looking for it with this girl who had a tattoo of a dragon! Let me clarify, it was the 1930s and a bunch of us were migrating out of Oklahoma, and I was this teenage wizard/CIA operative, okay? And, um then I floated off into the meta-verse as a ball of invisible energy that had no outer edge...

Ugh, okay. None of this is true. I'm just kind of a normal guy from New Jersey who moved to New York, got into comedy, wrote this book about trying to write this book, and then moved to Alaska, became the mayor of a small town, spent $30,000 on underwear, and now I'm going to rule the world!!!
  

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Review: Mr. Funny Pants

User Review  - Kristin - Goodreads

The book started a bit slow for me(the multiple prefaces got to be a bit much), but after reading a few chapters, I was literally laughing out loud. I think Showalter fans will obviously find this ... Read full review

Review: Mr. Funny Pants

User Review  - Mia - Goodreads

I love reading all kinds of memoirs and biographies and so when I found this book at a second-hand bookstore, I was really excited. My copy is even personally signed by Showalter with a sketch inside ... Read full review

Contents

Dos and Donts for Girls with Boyfriends Who Go Out on Dates with Guys Who Arent Their Boyfriends
Bad Advice to Guys for When They Take a Lady Out on a Date
Online University
Television Commercial Proposal for Online University
EXT SOCCER FIELDDAY
Sweaters Sandwiches Cats
1Ĺ Pages on I Hate Jogging Because
Sweater Letter

PostPreface
PostPostPreface
PrePostPostPreface
End of Pre and PostPrefaces Preface
Introduction
Taking Ecstasy and Peeing on Myself
Book Proposal Submitted to GrandCentral Publishing onFebruary 7 2008
Book Proposal Part 2
Book Proposal Part 3
Book Proposal Part 4
Book Proposal Part 5
Getting Started on Writing My Book
Excerpt from My ImaginaryInterview with Charlie Rose
Duck Imprinting
Part One
Even Gangbangers Get the Sniffles
Mix Tapes
HIGHER BY CREED
Dream Jokes
My Morning Routine
Beat Poetry
THE APARTMENT BUILDING
Reflections on a Snowy Morning
Bonus Poems
FERNS AND BIFFLES UNFINISHED
How to Write and Sell a Hollywood Screenplay
My Morning Routine 2
The Universal Theme of Adolescence
IN RETROSPECT
Holiday Recipes for Gentlemen
Employees Must Wash Hands
How to Write and Sell a Hollywood Screenplay
MY APARTMENT AND WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AND FROGS??
Boxers Box
The Joys of Streaking
My Morning Routine 3
Boy Meets Girl Boy Buys ThreePiece Suit
Boy Gets Girl Boy Goes Out and Buys a Lime Green Futon
Boy Gets Girl but Then Discovers Girl Already Has Boyfriend
My Morning Routine 4
Cats
Cats and Ancient Egypt
The Mind
Sandwiches
6 SUNDRIED TOMATOES ARE TOTAL BULLSHIT
My Morning Routine 5
What My Thoughts Would Look Like If You Could See Them
What My Thoughts Would Look Like If You Could See Them
Games Puzzles Brainteasers Brain Twisters
THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF THE ALBATROSS SANDWICH
THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF THE ONEWAY TICKET
20 QUESTIONS AND ITS VARIABLES
Drinking Games
Scrabble
UpstairsDownstairs
Good Penis vs Bad Penis
Uncreative Nonfiction
My Morning Routine 6
How to Write and Sell a Hollywood Screenplay
ROMANTIC COMEDY PLOT
How to Write and Sell a Hollywood Screenplay
My Morning Routine 7
Closeup Photographs of Your Face
A NeverEnding Sketch
INT CONFERENCE ROOMRAZOR BLADE COMPANYDAY
Just Before the Authors Afterword
Just After Just Before the Authors Afterword
Authors Afterword
Appendix
Upcoming Books by the Author
Excerpt and Front and Back Cover Design Specs from My Upcoming Book About Frogs
Excerpt from My Upcoming Book About Toads
The Original First Paragraph
FAQs Frequently Asked Questions
Sincere Not Silly Thank You Page
Table of Contents
Copyright
Copyright

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