The Holy Bible: Containing the Old and New Testaments and the Apocrypha ... (Google eBook)

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Grolier Society, 1611
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I hate to say this, but read Twilight instead.
Reading Twilight will make you stupid and gay. Reading the Bible will make you stupid, gay AND homophobic, meaning you'll forever live in a state of
self-hatred. So at least by reading Twilight, your self-hatred will be restricted to the fact that you've read Twilight as opposed to being aimed at your sexuality and therefore part of your humanity. As a bonus, Stephanie Meyer has never claimed that Twilight is to be understood as the literal truth (or, selectively, where she doesn't like the implications anymore, as a figurative truth) or that failing to adhere to the sometimes arbitrary rules set by your loving, caring neighborhood deity (e.g. eating seafood, kissing a man if you're a man = Abomination! vs. Selling your daughter into slavery, killing somebody working on the sabbath = OK!) will doom you to eternal torment at the hands of said deity. You should really never read Twilight, but if you're ever tempted to read the Bible - read Twilight instead. 

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Hm 2
One of the most overrated books in history...

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