What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety (Google eBook)

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Seal Press, Oct 1, 2011 - Health & Fitness - 256 pages
15 Reviews
In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman?co-editor of "Yes Means Yes"?gives young women the tools to decipher the modern worldOCOs confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (weOCOre failures if we donOCOt act sexy, but weOCOre sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve ?whatever we getOCO if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.
Educational and interactive, "What You Really Really Want" includes revealing quizzes, creative exercises, and reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today. With FriedmanOCOs informed advice to guide them, readers will build new skills for safely expressing their sexuality with lovers and explore effective ways to talk about tricky issues with family and friends?and learn how to make the world a little safer for everyone elseOCOs sexuality along the way.
  

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Review: What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety

User Review  - Lizy - Goodreads

It was very important for me to read this in my current stage of life. Read full review

Review: What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety

User Review  - Casey - Goodreads

A good book for people trying to figure out how to embrace their sexuality. This is a sex positive way to figure out what you want. Read full review

Contents

DONT SKIP THIS INTRODUCTION
WHAT THIS BOOK WONT DO FOR YOU
HOW TO USE THIS BOOK
CLEARING A PATH
DISCOVER WHERE YOURE STARTING FROM
INFLUENCES
RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS
SHAME
HOT OR NOT
SAFE IS SEXY
DIRTY TALK
IF IT DOESNT GO WELL
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
ARE THERE RULES?
THE BLOWJOB PARADOX
BAD KISSING AND OTHER MISFORTUNES

BLAME
FEAR
AGE
RACE
CLASS
GENDER
SEXUAL ORIENTATION
BODY TYPE
SEXUAL TRAUMA
STEREOTYPING OTHERS
YOURE NUMBER ONE
GETTING REAL ABOUT RISK
LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
HOW TO SAY NO
SELFDEFENSE
GOOD LOVE BAD LOVE
WHAT ABOUT LOVE HORMONES?
MONOGAMY VS POLYAMORY
HOOKING UP
UNEQUAL DESIRESEXPECTATIONS
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
DEALING WITH HEARTBREAK
TRIGGER FINGERS
MAKING FRIENDS WITH YOUR FEELINGS
STRONG IN THE BROKEN PLACES
THE WRONG REASONS
GET INTO THE DRIVERS SEAT
DO I HAVE TO?
WHAT TO SAY AND WHEN TO SAY IT
ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT
WHEN YOU AND YOUR BODY DISAGREE
KINKSBDSM
FANTASY VS REALITY
DISCLOSING
UNWANTED PAIN
IF YOUVE BEEN VIOLATED
SAFECALLS
WHEN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER WANT DIFFERENT THINGS
LYING
WOMAN UP
FETISHIZING
SHAME
MAKING AMENDS
FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES
SLUTSHAMING AND PRUDEPOLICING
SETTING BOUNDARIES
HOW TO TALK TO KIDS
WINGWOMEN AND OTHER GREAT BIRDS
TO BOLDLY GO
GROW TOGETHER
PAY IT FORWARD
STRENGTH IN NUMBERS
DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 11
Copyright

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About the author (2011)

Jaclyn Friedman is a writer, performer, and activist, and the editor of the hit book Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape (one of Publishers Weekly’s Top 100 Books of 2009).

Friedman also holds a master’s degree in creative writing from Emerson College. She has been a guest on Democracy Now!, BBC’s The World Tonight, To the Contrary, The Brian Lehrer Show, GRITtv, and numerous other radio and television shows, and her commentary has appeared in outlets including CNN, The Washington Post, The Nation, Jezebel, Feministing.com, The American Prospect, Bitch, AlterNet, and The Huffington Post. She is a SheSource.org expert and a Progressive Women’s Voices alumna, and she was named one of 2009’s “Top 40 Progressive Leaders Under 40” by the New Leaders Council. She is also a founder and the Executive Director of Women, Action & the Media, a national organization working for gender justice in media.

Friedman currently writes a weekly column on pop culture, sexuality, and sexual violence for Amplify, a site devoted to promoting healthy sexuality for young people.

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