I'm OK, You're My Parents: How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works

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Macmillan, Jan 2, 2005 - Family & Relationships - 336 pages
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"Atkins's strength is in suggesting ways to rewire your relationship . . . If your parents drive you up the wall, there's plenty here to help you. And the cost of the book is definitely cheaper than therapy." The Boston Globe

In a recent study, half of all Americans rated their relationship with at least one parent as either "poor" or "terrible," and more than a third felt this way about both parents. As life expectancy continues to rise and the parent-child relationship extends further and further into adulthood, this problem has reached epidemic proportion.

I'm Ok, You're My Parents offers practical, specific advice on how to
- exorcise the demons of anger and resentment
- untangle financial arrangements that cause stress and feelings of powerlessness
- set limits on parental demands for time and attention
- turn a spouse or friends into a powerful resource
- overcome your own resistance to change
- discover the redemptive power of humor

This will prove invaluable to anyone eager to get off the "treadmill," gain control, and build a life that they and their parents can live with—forever.
  

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About her sister who weighted over 300 pounds and had gastic bypass surgery. Good read. Read full review

Contents

Sit Down Before You Read This
1
PARTI PAST TENSE
11
Making Sure Your Past Doesnt Last
13
A Word about Becoming an Adult
27
A Word about Guilt
32
A Word about Anger
39
PRESENT IMPERFECT
51
What You Need to Know about Your Parents
53
Learn to Love the Bait and Switch
169
Let Them Be Your Savioror at Least Think They Are
172
Disarm Them with Honesty
177
Flatten Them with Flattery
180
FUTURE SHOCK Troubleshooting the Hotspots
185
They Manipulate Me with Health Crises Real and Imagined
187
They Make Themselves a Little Too Much at Home
201
They Dont Like My Spouse or That I Dont Have One
211

Your Fantasy Parent Doesnt Live Here Anymore
63
The Relief of Having Reasonable Expectations
71
The Urge to Mergeand the Need to Diverge
75
You Say You Want a Revolution But Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?
78
Seeking a Second Opinion
81
Button Up Your Panic Buttons
88
Keeping Your Eye on the Prize
97
The Art of Creating Boundaries
102
Getting Your Spouse in Your House
111
RolePlaying with the Punches
140
Laughing through the Apocalypse
148
Making Your Body Say What You Mean
152
Toning Down Your Tone of Voice
157
Reaching for the Words That Reach Them
162
They Are Not There in the Way I Need Them to Be
224
They Want Too Much of My Time
232
They Are Offended When I Dont Share Personal Details of My Life
238
They Put Me in the Middle of Their Marriage or Divorce Problems
245
They Manage to Slip an Insult into Every Conversation
255
They Expect Constant Admiration and Attention
263
They Embarrass Me
270
They Use Money to Manipulate Me
278
They Think I Am a Bad Parent
293
A Word about When to Give Up
306
Bibliography
308
Acknowledgments
310
Index
311
Copyright

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About the author (2005)

Dale Atkins, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, lecturer, and media commentator who appears regularly on the Today Show. The author of five books, she has been a frequent contributor to Ladies' Home Journal, Cosmopolitan, and Parents. She lives in Connecticut and has a practice in New York City.

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