How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally LameHow to be cool when you're afraid you've forgotten how . . . Sure, you can try to stay younger by exercising, coloring your hair, and wearing stylish clothes—but how do you respond when someone asks, "Do you Twitter?" How Not to Act Old gives you simple ways to come back from over the hill and to act as young as you look. Covering everything from old-people entertainment (cancel that dinner party!) to old-people communication (it's called a "voice mail," not a "message," and no one leaves or listens to them anyway), Pamela Redmond Satran decodes the behaviors, viewpoints, and cultural touchstones that separate you from the hip young person you wish you still were. This irreverent guide is essential for anyone who doesn't want to embarrass their kids—or themselves. |
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... called a “voice mail,” not a “message,” and no one leaves or listens to them anyway), Pamela Redmond Satran decodes the behaviors, viewpoints, and cultural touchstones that separate you from the hip young person you wish you still were ...
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Contents
| 1 | |
5 Avoid Direct Confrontation | 8 |
32 Dont Be Proud of Being Befuddled by Technology | 26 |
47 Dont Fear the Tat | 38 |
51 No Poodles | 45 |
55 Dont Drink Cosmopolitans | 52 |
60 Dont Lust after Paul McCartney | 58 |
61 No Chronic Health Discussions | 60 |
76 Enough with the ManBashing | 75 |
Deathless ManBashing Jokes | 76 |
77 Dont Fear the Silence | 77 |
78 Dont Live in West Virginia or Greenwich Village | 78 |
79 Dont Say the Doctor the Cop or the Teacher Looks Twelve | 79 |
80 Cancel the Dinner Party | 80 |
8187 How Not to Facebook Old | 81 |
88 Crumble the Dried Flowers | 83 |
62 Screw the Housework | 61 |
A Young Persons Guide to Housekeeping | 62 |
63 Break That Saturday Night Sex Routine | 63 |
64 Stop Surfing the Net | 64 |
65 Have No Problem | 66 |
66 Mooch off Your Parents | 67 |
6773 How Not to Party Old | 69 |
74 Dont Be Shocked by a Touch of GirlonGirl | 71 |
10Other Things Not to Be Shocked | 72 |
75 Nix on the Negativity | 73 |
6 Upbeat Substitutes | 74 |
96 Torch Your Books | 93 |
125 Dont Live in a Big House and Complain about Money | 103 |
133 Dont Lust after the Lifeguard | 115 |
146 Dont Count Out Exact Change | 126 |
161 Dont Vote Republican | 131 |
165 Stop Hoping Lauren Conrad Will Just Go Away | 137 |
169 Garage Your Hog | 143 |
173 Gotta Love Those Entourage Boys | 149 |
182 Dont Talk to Strangers | 162 |
Other editions - View all
How Not to Act Old: 257 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, Or ... Pamela Redmond Satran No preview available - 2009 |
How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or ... Pamela Redmond Satran No preview available - 2009 |
How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Dope, Awesome, or at ... Pamela Redmond Satran No preview available - 2009 |