LibraryThing ReviewUser Review - MissJessie - LibraryThing
This book deals, by example, with difficult/PIA people in one's life and how to deal with them. I found it a little bit dated (it is over 20 years old) and thought that though some of the advice was ... Read full review
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This book has serious problems, which may not be noticed by someone trying to relate to a "difficult person" in their life. Something huge is missing, despite some reasonable Christian teaching. Landorf says,"The irregular person I'm talking about is a person you are related to--like your parents, a brother, sister, cousin, uncle, aunt, or even in-laws. And, in some cases, even a husband or wife." (p.14) She goes on to share the hurts inflicted upon herself and her listeners/readers by people in those categories. Letters describing the pain inflicted by irresponsible or (apparently)hateful parents seem to predominate.
Notice what's missing? Adult children and teens are never listed as being "irregular" or hurtful in any way (I do not have an adult child, by the way). I've experienced pain inflicted by parents or in-laws, and come to terms with setting expectations aside some years ago. But to *never* deal with the parental side is not an answer--particularly in the present age in which criticizing parents is considered therapeutic. The one attempt made to deal with the parental side was to say that the PARENT had a "terrible childhood" or was abused in some way--thus perpetuation the "blame parents" movement which began in the 1960's. I know of many near-adult "children" that never stop blaming their parent's "dysfunction"--real or unreal-- as the reason they: do not succeed in life, move back home without searching for a job (while complaining about the parent who owns that home), and a growing young-adult or adolescent trend to abuse parents in their own home. There are single mothers, widows, and even grandparents who's lives are constantly disrupted by "children" who make demands on their pensions, their last years, and their reputation.. In the cases I know of, the child HAD been encouraged, provided for, and listened to for all the formative years. By showing only the adult "child" side in this book, we will never know the truth.
Christian authors need to deal with the ever-growing disrespect for parents--particularly the mother--in the home. Mothers aren't always unreasonable damaged people because their children have issues, any more than God was to blame for the fall of his children Adam and Eve. Sometimes parents are at fault, but on the other hand sometimes the "child" is the irregular person.