What people are saying - Write a review
LibraryThing ReviewUser Review - dougwood57 - LibraryThing
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: "Air you married, and if so how do you like it?", September 29, 2007 Artemus Ward (Charles Farrar Browne) was an American original of the mid-19th ... Read full review
aboozed abowt actin adoo Afrikan agin ain't Albert Edard allers arter axed Baldinsville becawz bein Betsy Jane biled bizness black close bleeve bust Buzzum capting cents commenst confisticated continner cood Cornwallis cuss dase deth drempt Edwin Forrest ekal Englan enuff etsettery feelins feller female folks follerin frends furrin fust Ginral goin grate havin heze hisself hoss Iago idee individooally Injianny insville jine Juke larfed larst lookin lookt meetin house minits Mister Ward Moosic Moses never nite nothin obsarved Octoroon offiss Old Abe onct Otheller parst peple Perfesser perlitely pertaters pint pirut putty replide rite round Seseshers shood show bizniss Sitterzens spose Squire stand-up fight Star Spangled Banner statoots stile takin thare thawt thay things threw troo trowsis vittles wax figgers weskit whare whitch wimin Yung yure
Page 178 - Michygan went up on top the house, got into the chimney and slid down into the parler where Old Abe was endeverin to keep the hungry pack of orfice-seekers from chawin him up alive without benefit of clergy. The minit he reached the fire-place he jumpt up...
Page 124 - Kanawl bote, there bein two other hosses hitcht on also, one behind and anuther ahead of me. The driver hollerd for us to git up, and we did. But the hosses bein onused to sich a arrangemunt begun to kick & squeal and rair up. Konsequents was I was kickt vilently in the stummuck & back, and presuntly I fownd myself in the Kanawl with the other hosses, kickin & yellin like a tribe of Cusscaroorus savvijis.
Page 22 - I don't like men ! " she sed, very short. " Wall, I dunno," sez I, " they're a rayther important part of the populashun. I don't scarcely see how we could git along without 'em.
Page 175 - ... until I got orfice, which if I didn't git a orfice I should turn round and abooze the Administration with all my mite and maine. But I'm not in the bizniss. I'm in a far more respectful bizniss nor what pollertics is. I wouldn't giv two cents to be a Congresser. The wuss insult I ever received was when sertin citizens of Baldinsville axed me to run fur the Legislater. Sez I, "My frends, dostest think I'd stoop to that there?
Page 42 - Just so soon as a man becums a reglar out & out Sperret rapper he leeves orf workin, lets his hare grow all over his fase & commensis spungin his livin out of other peple. He eats all the dickshunaries he can find & goze round chock full of big words, scarein the wimmin folks & little children & destroyin the piece of mind of evry famerlee he enters.
Page 180 - Virtoo,' sed I, holdin' the infatooated man by the coat-collar, 'virtoo, sir, is its own reward. Look at me!' He did look at me, and qualed be4 my gase. The fact is...
Page 20 - Yay." " If the storm continners there'll be a mess underfoot, hay? " ;'Yay." "It's onpleasant when there's a mess underfoot?" '' Yay." " If I may be so bold, kind sir, what's the price of that pecooler kind of weskit you wear, incloodin trimmins ?
Page 68 - Gase on this wastin form and these 'ere sunken cheeks " I should have continnered on in this strane probly for sum time, but unfortnitly I lost my ballunse and fell over into the pastur ker smash,* tearin my close and seveerly damagin myself ginerally. Betsy Jane sprung to my assistance in dubble quick time and dragged me 4th. Then drawin herself up to her full hite she sed : " I won't listen to your noncents no longer. Jes say rite strate out what you 're drivin at.
Page 115 - Reformin & Wimin's Rite's Associashun, and thay axed me if they cood go in without payin. " Not exactly," sez I, " but you can pay without goin in."