kids are worth it! (Google eBook)

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HarperCollins, Feb 2, 2010 - Family & Relationships - 352 pages
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The parenting classic, now revised with new chapters, checklists, and information about today's most pressing issues regarding our children

This bestselling guide rejects "quick-fix" solutions and focuses on helping kids develop their own self-discipline by owning up to their mistakes, thinking through solutions, and correcting their misdeeds while leaving their dignity intact. Barbara Coloroso shows these principles in action through dozens of examples -- from sibling rivalry to teenage rebellion; from common misbehaviors to substance abuse and antisocial behavior. She also explains how to parent strong-willed children, effective alternatives to time-outs, bribes, and threats, and how to help kids resolve disputes and serious injustices such as bullying.

Filled with practical suggestions for handling the ordinary and extraordinary tribulations of growing up, kids are worth it! helps you help your children grow into responsible, resilient, resourceful adults -- not because you tell them to, but because they want to.

  

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“If we are to raise kids who can think and act ethically, we don’t begin with the thinking or the acting. We begin with caring.” —Barbara Coloroso
In her now-classic kids are worth it! , Barbara Coloroso offered solid advice and practical parenting techniques that above all preserved the dignity of both parent and child. Coloroso’s underlying parenting vision ascribes to parents the responsibility to teach the next generation how to think, not just what to think, so that they may grow into the best people they can be.
Now, in this groundbreaking new book—a natural extension and a profound deepening of her original vision—Coloroso shows parents how to nurture their children’s ethical lives, from preschool through adolescence.
There can be no more necessary book for our times.
We live in a world where children are so often given the message that the ends justify the means; where harmful, even violent behavior—in families, in communities, and around the world—goes unnoticed, unmitigated, and often unrepented; where children’s ethical education can come from a T-shirt slogan or bumper sticker, an Internet site, or the evening news; where rigid moral absolutism or moral relativism has replaced true ethical thinking. In a world such as ours, Just Because It’s Not Wrong Doesn’t Make It Right is an essential tool.
Beginning with the idea that it is in us to care that we are born with an innate capacity for compassion and caring, Coloroso shows parents how to nurture and guide children’s ethical lives from toddlerhood through the teen years using everyday situations at home, at school, in social settings, and in the world at large.
Rich in advice and anecdotes, Just Because It’s Not Wrong Doesn’t Make It Right offers no less than an ethical vision, one rooted in deep caring, by which we and succeeding generations may not only live, but thrive.
 

Contents

Chapter Two Three Kinds of Families
20
Threats Punishment Bribes and Rewards
42
The Triangle of InfluenceEncouragment
69
Three Alternatives to No and Other Plan Bs
90
I Can Be Me
102
Keeping Your Cool without Putting Your
115
Realities Mistakes and Problems
137
Getting Your Kid Out of jail and Other
158
The Big C and the Three Rs Chores
208
Money Matters
245
Mealtime
259
Bedtime Doesnt Have to
274
Ready Sit GoToilet Training
289
Sexuality Is Not a FourLetter Word
299
Epilogue
311
Copyright

Settling Sibling Rivalry without Calling
174

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Popular passages

Page 314 - Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life...
Page 11 - Do ye hear the children weeping, O my brothers, Ere the sorrow comes with years? They are leaning their young heads against their mothers, And that cannot stop their tears. The young lambs are bleating in the meadows: The young birds are chirping in the nest; The young fawns are playing with the shadows; The young flowers are blowing toward the west — But the young, young children, O...
Page 21 - brief candle" to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
Page 68 - If you punish a child for being naughty, and reward him for being good, he will do right merely for the sake of the reward; and when he goes out into the world and finds that goodness is not always rewarded, nor wickedness always punished, he will grow into a man who only thinks about how he may get on in the world, and does right or wrong according as he finds either of advantage to himself.
Page 18 - I possess tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humour, hurt or heal. In all situations it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized.
Page 121 - We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.
Page 2 - For most of us, there is only the unattended Moment, the moment in and out of time, The distraction fit, lost in a shaft of sunlight, The wild thyme unseen, or the winter lightning Or the waterfall, or music heard so deeply That it is not heard at all, but you are the music While the music lasts. These are only hints and guesses, Hints followed by guesses; and the rest Is prayer, observance, discipline, thought and action.
Page 140 - God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Page 23 - Who of us is mature enough for offspring before the offspring themselves arrive? The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.
Page 139 - Are these words true?" If so, let them pass on; if not, back they go. At the second gate, we ask, "Are they necessary?

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About the author (2010)

Barbara Coloroso is the author of the international bestseller Kids Are Worth It! and Parenting Through Crisis and is an acclaimed speaker on parenting, teaching, conflict, resolution, and grieving. Featured in Time, the New York Times, and on many radio and television shows, she lives with her husband in Littleton, Colorado.

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