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afraid alive Althorp arms asked aware beautiful believe boys bulimia Camilla Camilla Parker-Bowles Charles's Combermere Barracks comfortable confidence cope course David Faber deep delighted desperate Devon Diana felt dinner dream Duchess of York duty emotion everything eyes face father fear feel friends friendship frightened Gulf hand happy heart Highgrove hope Household Division hurt husband James and Diana James Hewitt James's John Hewitt Ken Wharfe Kensington Palace kissed live looked marriage married mind mother needed never night normal once pain passion perhaps physical polo Prince Charles Princess of Wales proud realised reassured relaxed relief riding Rosa Monckton royal Sally Sarah secret seemed Sennelager sense share sitting smile soon spent strength sure telephone tell thought told James took touch tried truth trying turn unhappiness voice walk wanted watched weekends William and Harry woman worried