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accept admit adult child adult children affirmations Alcoholics Anonymous approval-seeking ask our Higher begin believe better breathing caretaking Center City character defects character traits childhood homes Children of Alcoholics Codependent controlling behaviors deep defects removed denial destructive behavior direct amends dysfunctional families emotions everything fear feel forgive friends give God's greater than ourselves grow happen happiness healing healthier Higher Power Higher Power's help honest humility hurt inventory Janet G Karen Casey keep learned let go let our Higher long-term review low self-esteem marriage meditation Melodie Beattie minds moral inventory never peace and serenity positive change Power greater powerlessness prayer and meditation praying problems relationships relax remember remove our character remove our defects sanity self-esteem self-will Serenity Prayer slip someone specific spiritual growth Step Eight Step Seven stop Story Survival Skills talk things thought trust truth Twelve Step program understand wrong