CHAPTER XXXI.

THE ART OF MONEY GETTING.

BACK ONCE MORE TO ENGLAND — TOUlt THROUGH SCOTLAND AND WALES — HOW I CAME TO LECTURE—ADVICE OF MY FRIENDS—MY LECTURE — HOW TO MAKE MONEY AND HOW TO KEEP IT — WHAT THE PAPERS SAH> ABOUT ME — PRAISE OF TOE LONDON PRESS—LECTURING IN THE PROVINCES — PERFORMANCES AT CAMBRIDGE — CALL FOR JOICE HETII — EXTRAORDINARY FUN AT OXFORD

— THE AUDIENCE AND LECTURER TAKING TURNS—A UNIVERSITY BREAKFAST— MAGNTFICENT OFFER FOR A COPYRIGHT — SUCCESS OF MY ENTERPRISE

— MORE MONEY FOR THE CLOCK CREDITORS.

Seeing the necessity of mating more money to assist in extricating me from my financial difficulties, and leaving my affairs in the hands of Mr. James D. Johnson — my wife, and youngest daughter, Pauline, boarding with my eldest daughter, Mrs. Thompson, in Bridgeport — early in 1858, I went hack to England, and took Tom Thumb to all the principal places in Scotland and Wales, giving many exhibitions and making much money which was remitted, as heretofore, to my agents and assignees in America.

Finding, after a while, that my personal attention was not needed in the Tom Thumb exhibitions and confiding him almost wholly to agents who continued the tour through Great Britain, under my general advice and instruction, 1 turned my individual attention to a new field. At the suggestion of several American gentlemen, resident in London, I prepared a lecture on "The Art of Money-Getting." I told my friends that, considering my clock complications, t thought I was more competent to speak on " The Art of Money Losing "; but they encouraged me by reminding me that I could not have lost money, if I had not previously possessed the faculty of making it They further assured me that my name having been intimately associated with the ,.JfennyLind concerts and other great money-making enterprises, the lecture would be sure to prove attractive and profitable.

The old clocks ticked in mv ear the reminder that I should improve every opportunity to "turn an honest penny," and my lecture was duly announced for delivery in the great St. James' Hall, Regent Street, Piccadilly. It was thoroughly advertised — a feature I never neglected — and, at the appointed time, the hall, which would hold three thousand people, was completely filled, at prices of three and two shillings, (seventy-five and fifty cents,) per seat, according to location. It was the evening of December 29, 180B. Since my arrival in Great Britain,the,previous spring, I had spent months in travelling with General Tom Thumb, and now I was to present myself in a new capacity to the English public as a lecturer. I could see in mv audience all my American friends who had suggested this effort; all my theatrical and literary friends ; and as I saw several gentlemen whom I knew to be, connected with the leading London papers, I felt sure that my success or .failure would be duly chronicled next morning. There was, moreover, a general audience that seemed eager to see the " showman " of whom they had heard so much, and to catch from his lips the " art" which, in times past, had contributed so largely to his success in life. Stimulated by these things, lj tried,to do pry best, and I think I-did it. The following is the lecture substantially^, §© it was delivered, though it was interspersed with many anecdotes and illustrations which are necessarily omitted; and I should add, that the subjoined copy being adapted to the me/idian m which it has been repeatedly delivered, contains numerous local allusions to men and matters in the United States, which, of course, did not appear in the original draft prepared for my English audiences:

THE ABT OF MONEY GETTING.

In the United States, where we have more land than people, it is not at all difficult for persons in good health to make money. In this comparatively new field there are so many avenues of success open, so many vocations which are not crowded, that any person of either sex who is willing, at least for the time being, to engage in any respectable occupation that offers, may find lucrative employment.

Those who really desire to attain an independence, have only to set their minds upon it, and adopt the proper means, as they do in regard to any other object which they wish to accomplish, and the thing is easily done. But however easy it may be found to make money, I have no doubt many of my hearers will agree it is the most difficult thing in the world to keep it. The road to wealth is, as Dr. Franklin truly says, "as plain as the road to mill." It consists simply in expending less than we earn; that seems to be a very simple problem. Mr. Micawber, one of those happy creations of the genial Dickens, puts the case in a strong light when he says that to have an income of twenty pounds, per annum, and spend twenty pounds and sixpence, is to be the most miserable of men; whereas, to have an income of only twenty pounds, and spend but nineteen pounds and sixpence, is' to be the happiest of mortals. Many of my hearers may say, " we understand this ; this is economy, and we know economy is wealth; we know we can't eat our cake and keep it also." Yet I beg to say that perhaps more cases of failure arise from mistakes on this point than almost any other. The fact is, many people think they understand economy when they really do not.

True economy is misapprehended, and people go through life without properly'comprehending what that principle is. Some say, " I have an income of so much, and here is my neighbor who has the same; yet every year he gets something ahead and I fall short; why is it? I know all about economy." He thinks he does, but he does not. There are many who think that economy consists in saving cheese-pariugs and candle ends, in cutting off two pence from the laundress' bill and doing all sorts of little, mean, dirty things. Economy is not meanness. The misfortune is also that this class of persons let their economy apply in only one direction. They fancy they are so wonderfully economical in saving a half-penny Where they ought to spend two pence, that they think; they can afford to squander in other directions. A few years ago, before kerosene oil was discovered or thought of, one might strip over night at almost any farmer's house in the agricultural districts and get a very gOod supper, but after supper he might attempt to read in the sitting room, and would find it impossible with the inefficient light of one candle. The hostess, seeing his dilemma, would say: "It is rather difficult to read here evenings; the proverb says'you must have a ship at sea in order to be able to burn two candles at once;' we never have an extra candle except on extra occasions." These extra occasions occur, perhaps, twice a year. In this way the good woman saves rive, six, or ten dollars in that time; but the information which might be derived from having the extra light would, of course, far outweigh a ton of candles.

But the trouble does not end here. Feeling that she is so economical in tallow candles, she thinks she can afford to go frequently to the village and spend twenty or thirty dollars for ribbons aud fnrbelows, many of which are not necessary'. This false economy may frequently be seen ih men of business, and in those instances it often runs to "writing paper. Yon find good business men who save all the old envelopes, and scraps, and would not tear a new sheet of paper, if they could avoid it, for the world. This is all very well; they may in this way save five or ten dollars a year, but being so economical (only in note paper), they think they can afford to waste time; to have expensive parties, and to drive their carriages. This is an illustration of Dr. Franklin's "saving at the spigot and wasting at the bung-hole"; "penny wise and pound foolish." Punch in speaking of this "oneidea" class of people says " they are like the man who bought a penny herring for his family's dinner and then hired a coach and four to take it home." I never knew a man to succeed by practising this kind of economy.

True economy consists in always making the income exceed the out-go. Wear the old clothes a little longer if necessary; dispense with the new pair of gloves; mend the old dress; live on plainer food if need be; so that under all circumstances, unless some unforeseen

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