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Bunty Cutler was not born in India where her father wasn't a member of the Diplomatic Service. As a girl, she suffered no horrific abuse at the hands of cruel nuns and neither was she educated at Roedean, where she didn't become Head Girl. She held no influential positions at the BBC before not being appointed Literary Editor of an important newspaper. She is not married with two children and doesn't live in a former vicarage or old post office in Sussex, where she never enjoys walking her dogs and playing the piano. Bunty does not have homes in Highgate, Cape Cod, Manhattan and Nice where she hasn't written two acclaimed post-Modernist novels. Her much-anticipated autobiography is not shortly to be published. In 2006 she wasn't made a Dame of the British Empire.