8 Simple Rules for Marrying My Daughter: And Other Reasonable Advice from the Father of the Bride (Not that Anyone is Paying Attention)

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Simon and Schuster, Apr 8, 2008 - Humor - 288 pages
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Following the stunning success of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter -- which was adapted into a TV show for ABC -- W. Bruce Cameron returns with an even more hilarious look at fatherhood, capturing the predicament of the forgotten man in the tux at his little girl's wedding.

As Cameron explains, modern weddings are much like royal coronations, only more expensive. Aside from the writing of checks, there is not much fathers understand about them. Why can't guests successfully eat, drink, and dance unless the whole event is as carefully choreographed as a Broadway production? With his characteristic wit, Cameron captures the aspects of the wedding that are the most ridiculous to paternal eyes, for example:

• why the wedding needs a theme (this one is "We're all stressed out")

• why the wedding has to be photographed as if it will be reviewed by the Warren Commission

• why the bouquet must include a species of flower found only at the tip of the Himalayas

• why the wedding dress has to strike the right mood (which, judging from everyone's behavior, might best be summed up as "crabby")


Throughout it all, however, a father keeps faith that the wedding -- if not the wedding preparation -- will make his daughter a happy woman.

Hilarious yet poignant, 8 Simple Rules for Marrying My Daughter is sure to be a comfort to the legions of fathers (and mothers) who will one day have a daughter walking down the aisle.
 

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Contents

There Are 8 Simple Rules for Marrying My Daughter
1
An Announcement of EarthShattering Proportions and That Is No Exaggeration
19
You Are In Charge of the Plan
37
Meet Bridezilla and the Devil Woman Who Spawned Her
57
IndustrialStrength Pressure
77
You Need Professional Help
99
You Can Feed All of the People Some of the Time or Some of the People All of the Time But You Cant Feed a Wedding Party
118
Three Weddings and a Father
139
Bride of Frankenwedding
159
Though Bridal Showers May Come Your Way They Bring the Flowers for Which You Pay
182
Countdown to Bridal Blastoff
200
The Calm Before the Storm Is Not So Calm
219
Cold Feet on a Hot August Night
240
Last Dance
263
Final Thoughts
284
Copyright

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Page xiv - You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

About the author (2008)

W. Bruce Cameron is a nationally syndicated columnist and the author of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, which was the basis for the television show 8 Simple Rules on ABC, now syndicated nightly on ABC Family. He is also the author of How to Remodel a Man and is the two-time winner of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists Award for best humor columnist and the winner of the 2006 Robert Benchley Award

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