A Married Man's Guide to Christmas

Front Cover
BelleBooks, 2011 - Humor - 116 pages
In the great tradition of guy-humor everywhere, here comes humorist Robert Henry's growling, good-hearted rant about holiday madness, A MARRIED MAN'S GUIDE TO CHRISTMAS.
Henry reveals the truth about Christmas through the eyes of a typical married man. "Remember, it's not how you celebrate the joyous season. It's whether you are still alive, married, sleeping indoors, with a healthy prostate, and without a rap sheet on January 4th that counts." Husbands will laugh out loud. Dads will slap their knees and keel over (have CPR ready). Wives, daughters, sisters, mothers, aunts, female co-workers and sales clerks who dread seeing men mumble and mutter their way through the Christmas section at BIG BOX DISCOUNT WAREHOUSE will nod in recognition at the syndrome best described as "CAN I SURVIVE UNTIL NEW YEAR'S?"
A Married Man's Guide To Christmas is a must for every guy who wants the women in his life to understand why he'd rather buy them gift certificates than brave the treacherous online world of lingerie catalogs. Why have just a joyous season, when you can have a Christmas filled with laughs that don't include finding pictures of Uncle Herbert in a teddy? Irreverent, honest, and biodegradable, Robert Henry has captured the essence of the holiday season for all men in A Married Man's Guide To Christmas. So grab it today for all the beleaguered males on your Xmas list and all the long-suffering females who just want the lights strung on the front porch by Christmas Eve, the honey-do list completed before Aunt Sookie arrives with her flatulent Pekinese, and that expensive bottle of Scotch left mostly full until the tinsel is hung, the presents are wrapped, and the homeowners' association has accepted your apology for spelling out a less-than-jolly greeting in solar-powered candy canes on your front lawn.
 

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Contents

Chapter One
1
Chapter Two
7
Chapter Three
13
Chapter Four
19
Chapter Five
27
Chapter Six
31
Chapter Seven
38
Chapter Eight
43
Chapter Eleven
57
Chapter Twelve
62
Chapter Thirteen
69
Chapter Fourteen
75
Chapter Fifteen
79
Chapter Sixteen
85
Chapter Seventeen
93
Chapter Eighteen
103

Chapter Nine
47
Chapter Ten
51

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About the author (2011)

Robert Henry earned his Ph.D. in electrical engineering from New Mexico State University and his M.Sc. and B.Sc. from the University of Southwestern Louisiana. Dr. Henry is Professor and Head of the Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering at University of Louisiana at Lafayette, at Lafayette, LA.

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