A Random Figurine: me and my three mothers
I’ve written this book for two reasons; first because my story is different and I thought it would be of interest to my readers, and second, as a therapeutic tool for myself, recollecting memories of my past and the significance each event has had for me in coming to terms with my story.
The book’s first three chapters describes my relationship with the three women who represented a mother figure to me and my unending need to find my birth mother and my roots.
As I eventually find her, my true sentiments for her are described as well as those for my two also found brothers.
I describe one of my most intense sentiments, how I’ve always had an urge for my homeland, unable ever to adjust to a different territory, as well as the memories from my early years as I visit my country again and how they impact my inner self.
I bring to light the unfairness to the adopted in not allowing them the right to know who they are, a primary need for most, which is a basic human right and how the truth, even when painful, should always prevail.
I talk about four primary feelings that have been my constant companions and try to understand them.
Later, traveling through different countries a month after finding my roots enabled me to look at my persona not as a different unique one but as just part of all humanity and allowed me to be more understanding as to my place with it’s respect.
In the end, more hidden feelings arise and I am able to accept them as such.
It has been therapeutic as well as more self-assuring to my nature as the dark passages in my life and the endurance I developed resolves most of my internal conflicts.
I timidly engaged into writing and without prior expertise have written each word as it flew directly from my heart and although I do accept my imperfections, I am grateful for this experience, a sanctuary for me, a tool and an inspiration for those with similar challenges and an informant for those without them.
Susannah D. McCallum
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able accept air I breathe allowed anger baby became become birth mother birthday body bond born breath brother can’t Carl Carl’s child childhood classical music close comfort connection Convent cousins cries Cuba daughter Desiree Desiree’s didn’t want dreams emotion enjoy expression eyes face fantasy father feel felt forever friends future genes girls goodbye grandmother grief guiding light hair hands happiness heart husband I’ve Jeanette Julia keep knew later leave lives look lost Maria marriage maternal instincts Mathew memories mind missed months Mother Superior never nurse nursing home pain past peace permanent person present realize reason remember responsibilities Reverend Mother sadness share SILENT WOMAN Sister Theresa smile soul started stoicism story strong Susannah talk tell thought thru took touch trying unable unknown walk wasn’t woman wonder words