American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets

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Simon and Schuster, Dec 30, 2008 - Humor - 256 pages
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"If I can save one woman from these thighs, I will not have lived in vain," #1 New York Times bestselling humorist Jill Conner Browne writes in American Thighs, her handbook and memoir for the Hot and Flashy. Whether young enough to look "hot" or of the age to only feel that way (in flashes with buckets of sweat), every woman has given, or will give, ample thought to preserving her best "assets" (thighs included), so that the dread transition from "cute girl" to "ma'am" won't be quite so unsettling.

Here are stories of growing up and learning about life -- usually the hard way! From disastrous haircuts and color jobs to fashion or verbal faux pas committed, from the kiss wished for but never gotten to the one that should have been skipped, these are the moments that mark each of our journeys from what we thought back then to what we now know. Since to say that Youth is wasted on the Young has got to be the understatement of all time, it falls upon Browne, as one older and wiser, to take a "Hit and Run" down Memory Lane for the sake of offering "Asset-Preserving Tips," with astonishing disclosures about:
  • Why women have risked their lives just to get a little bit blonder
  • How the muumuu has been fashionably resurrected as the "patio dress"
  • Why it's important to always have a good photo of yourself on hand -- just in case
  • How, no matter what skin you're in, to make it last a lifetime
  • Why you can never trust anyone over eighty-five
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    User Review  - Suzieqkc - LibraryThing

    Southern humorist Jill Conner Browne describes life. I love her books! Long live the Sweet Potato Queens. Read full review

    Contents

    Introduction
    1
    Hit Run on Memory Lane
    30
    No Matter What Skin Youre In
    41
    Close Your Eyes and Ill Kiss You
    55
    Tiny Woman Repents Vows to Eat Cheese Pies
    66
    Howdy Sports Fans
    72
    Fashion
    100
    Who Exactly Calls the Wind Mariah?
    155
    Still MenAfter All These Years
    229
    Give Me a Wham Give Me a Bam
    240
    Help Is Close at Hand
    248
    Living Will
    255
    Our Deluxe Apartment Awaits
    259
    Everything Old Is Cute Again
    271
    Love Among the Ruins
    279
    Eat What You Like and Die Like a Man
    287

    Fuchsia
    201
    Onward Through the Fog
    220
    FFFFFT After Fifty
    301
    Copyright

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    About the author (2008)

    Jill Conner Browne is the New York Times bestselling author of six Sweet Potato Queens books. She lives and writes on all things Queenly from Jackson, Mississippi.

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