Anger Busting 101: The New ABC's for Angry Men and the Women who Love Them
"You may find it impossible to believe that a single book could ever help solve a problem as serious and life-damaging as anger and rage. You may find counseling quite satisfying, but when it comes to the bottom line, you are raging as much as ever. You may have been told that you are going to have to take psycho-archaeology expeditions back to your childhood to discover and piece together the various elements that may be causing your anger problem. That may be helpful--or it may be a way to avoid changing your behavior. Some new clients tell me, "I know I need to work through my issues with my mother and father and that it will take a few years." I worry that in the meantime they may be divorced, fired, in prison, or dead if they can't change their angry ways sooner. You can change right now. There are men who want to stop their fault-finding, sarcasm, arguing, self-justification and self-righteous indignation, rage and violence. There are men who do not want to be divorced and lose their families. They want to be able to say, like I have for the last 10 years, "I am happily married and my life is good." This book is for the men stuck in the same jam and for the women who could love them again. In "Anger Busting 101" Newton Hightower provides a framework for change that anyone can use. The author starts by establishing his credentials - he is not only a professional therapist but has had an anger problem that nearly ruined his life. He tried the therapies that were thought to help but was not successful. In fact, he found that many of the traditional therapies actually made his problem worse. In this text he goes over the techniques that he found actually worked to change his life. These techniques came out of a whole new approach to anger, this approach is to treat anger as a recovery situation. This brings me to the only item that I had had a problem with in the book. In chapter 3 he discusses how to respond to questions of "why" from a spouse, sibling, or other person. For example, if asked why you got so angry and threw the lamp against the wall then you should use one of the answers given in the text. The basic idea of the answers is understandable as they focus on the angry person taking responsibility for their anger and actions. However, the way they are worded is highly questionable. For example, one response is "I'm crazy" or another is "I'm stupid". Current traditional psychotherapy would say to word it more along the lines of "What I did was a crazy thing to do" or "I did a stupid thing". Taking responsibility for your actions is one thing but taking it to the point of putting yourself down and endangering your self esteem when angry people often already have low self esteem does not seem like a good idea to me. Then again it is hard to argue with the results. From the cases listed in the book and the comments from other people that have used it successfully it does seem to work. If anger is controlling you in any way and you want to start living a positive and fulfilling life then this book is for you. I would use caution with the wording in Chapter 3 and feel that you could take responsibility without the self-deprication, but other than that this book seems to offer hope to people who have been unsuccessful in controlling their rage in the past. A highly recommended read."--Publisher's website.
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Life changing! The traditional approaches make anger worse. Newton Hightower's approach works! I have been practicing his approach for five years now, and it has radically improved my family's and my life. It is simple. It works. If you have anger issues, you need this book.
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About the Center for Anger Resolution Inc