Articles of Faith
This collection of Russell Brand's columns for The Guardian not only follows the drama and tumult of the domestic and international football season but also a season in the life of one of our most celebrated comic talents.
Brand chronicles events both on and off the pitch as he travels between Upton Park and Hollywood. In his literary riffings, football legends and newfound heroes brush shoulders with a pantheon of cultural icons. Matches are won and lost, Brand's faith in his beloved West Ham tested, while the palette of company he keeps stretches from Morrissey to Gallagher to Gascoigne and back again.
Managerial manoeuvres at Wigan are discussed in reference to Joe Orton and the mysteries of the souks. The departure of Mourinho sparks reminisces of the shapely arse of a previous girlfriend. Love blossoms in the unlikely form of Paolo DiCanio. Arsenal's fluidity and purpose brings to mind yogic coitus of Sting and Trudie Styler. And the fate of his beloved West Ham is seen in parallel with the workings of his legendary libido.
'On what little things does happiness depend' he quotes Oscar Wilde - in football as in life.
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3A pledge is not enough to make England shine
4Dark lore of Dyer and the Hammers hex
5Never mind Israel Ive been beaten by Bohemia
6Repent for the kingdom of Steve is at hand
7Chelsea too small for these two randy stags
22Dont let Harry head north for shooting practice
23If Keegans a messiah I want the Cockney Moses
24Is Morrissey talking the language of West Ham?
25Well done stern Fabio for defying our emotions
26Lets revolt against Lucremores ludicracy
27Potassiumrich fruit has no place in football
Interview between Russell Brand and Noel Gallagher
28A lament for Gazza whose gift became his curse
8His Grace Arsène the shaman of our football
9Whatever next? Joe Cole on stilts?
Interview between Russell Brand and David Baddiel
10My cathode carnival with Sir Alex turning green
11Whos to blame for my impotent rage?
13East will always be east for lovers of freedom
14My view from afar of Fergies flirtatious feuding
15I need a new way to feed my England habit
16This crimson blot will take three years to fade
17José makes my dayin another dimension
18Barwick must atone for the sins of his fathers
19Capellos trunks more titillating than his titles
Interview between Russell Brand and James Corden
20Inner sanctums reveal soul of Hammers family
21Watching Arsenal thinking of Sting and Trudie
29Congratulations to Spurs for their lowly bauble
30Is this the right fertiliser for Grays grassroots?
31Whats the point in replaying a humiliation?
32Hurrah for super special Sunday soccerday
33Capellos words minced by sinister Nosferatu
34My adventures with Beckham in wonderland
35No replacing the man with a wiggle in his walk
36From Bridge to Boleyn with Littlejohn on a limobike
37Girls may turn my head but my heart is lost
38Enthralled by a giddy mist of climactic hysteria
39United to win the Godsll never work this one out
40One little slip and happiness goes out the window
Also by Russell Brand
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