Bachelors: The Psychology of Men who Haven't Married

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Greenwood Publishing Group, 1996 - Social Science - 208 pages
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An increasing number of Americans marry late or never at all. Today there are more than 3 million men who are at least 40 years old and have never been married. Waehler examines the myths surrounding bachelors, and he shows that stereotypes about never-married men are largely simplistic and inaccurate. Just as it would be impossible to make reliable statements about all people who have chosen to marry, the bachelor caricature falls short of reality. In this book, Waehler describes bachelors' internal processes and interpersonal styles along a continuum with three specific bachelor types: Flexible, Entrenched, and Conflicted.

"Bachelors" is the first and the only book to examine the inner workings of the bachelor mind. Waehler explores the psychology of never-married men and their choices, looking at similarities as well as differences. He looks at their conscious and unconscious psychological profiles, the experience within their families of origin, their relationships with women, their development through adulthood, and their beliefs about marriage. In the end, Waehler establishes patterns that lead to men maintaining their single status with varying degrees of satisfaction. He also provides practical advice on how to come to terms with various bachelor styles, or alternatively, how to successfully move from bachelorhood to marriage. Real life case studies are provided throughout, making this a book for the interested adult as well as researchers and other professionals.

 

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Contents

Bachelor Stereotypes
1
Creating Explanations
2
Bachelor Images Receiving Mass Attention
6
Clinical Questions Answered Scientifically
9
What Understanding Provides
14
Men Marriage and Mental Health
17
Linking Marriage to Mental Health
19
Studying Bachelors Directly
23
Descriptive Case Study
99
Understanding the Entrenched Bachelor
105
Conflicted Bachelors The Problem of Ambivalence
109
Descriptive Case Studies
112
Understanding the Conflicted Bachelor
124
Bachelors Four Years Later
127
Bachelors Are Consistent
129
Bachelors Who Do Change
134

Pushes and Pulls for Singles
27
The Bachelor Personality Core Elements
35
Independence and SelfReliance
38
Ego Defenses
42
Emotional Detachment
43
Interpersonal Passivity
44
Passivity in Sexuality
46
Passivity in Friendships
49
Idiosyncratic Thinking
52
Summary of Core Personality Elements
54
Bachelor Views of Marriage
57
Emotionally Detached
60
Advantages of Being Single
63
Shortcomings of Being Single
70
Flexible Bachelors A Question of Priorities
77
Descriptive Case Studies
80
Understanding the Flexible Bachelor
92
Entrenched Bachelors The Pattern of Rigidity
95
Maintaining the Status Quo
137
Options and Choices for Bachelors
141
My Personal Journey
142
Bachelor Choices
147
Enhancing Relationships
150
Bachelors as Dates and Mates
165
Enhancing Relationships
173
Notes for Benefitting from Psychotherapy
181
Be Active
188
Depend on Your Therapist
190
Be Emotional
192
Be Specific
194
Terminate Intentionally
195
References
199
Further Reading
203
Index
205
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About the author (1996)

CHARLES A. WAEHLER is an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at The University of Akron, and a psychotherapist with Cornerstone Psychological Services, both in Akron, Ohio.

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