Black men are the most misunderstood beings on the face of the earth. They are the butt of jokes, they are misquoted, lied on and about, not trusted and to some the reason for all of the trouble in the world! But those of us that love, like, want, need, and desire black men have to realize that there are still a lot of good, single brothers out there. We just have to give them a chance and understand them. We also have to remember, when we are looking for that "perfect" man that we are not perfect and perfection is reserved for God only!
I have to admit that for a short period, I was one of those women that misunderstood my dear brothers because of what I had experienced in my life.
My husband, a man that I loved dearly, just abruptly walked out on me. He also had all of my utilities turned off! Our daughter was just over a month old. I was devastated! He was a good man and I knew that he loved me. So why did a good man just walk out on his family? Now I realize that he was just saving himself. Sure, he could have gone about it in a more humane way but at the time, he was so confused! I did not understand it then like I do now. He was scared. A scared little boy that I tried to turn into a man! I loved him dearly but I did not truly understand him! He was always telling me that I was too good for him but at the time I could not understand what he was talking about. Now I realize that he had very little self- esteem.
I had a good Black man; I just didn't know how to deal with him! Many times, he tried to talk to me but I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I was just consumed in my needs and myself that I didn't even understand nor did I try to, what he was going through!
However, I finally learned how to listen and by just really listening, I learned so much about my dear Brothers.
I believe part of the problem is when a woman meets a man she really likes, she jumps into bed with him too fast. Before she even gets to know him. If the sex is good, she is hooked. She wants a relationship. She may even think that he is someone that she can spend the rest of her life with.
But after she gets to know him, she may find out there are many things about him that she does not like or even finds appalling. Then she wants to change him into who she wants for him to be or who she thought he was. If he is not willing to change to suit her needs, she is disappointed. She feels hurt, angry, frustrated, sad and in some cases, even violated! The man then becomes a good for nothing dog to her because he was not willing to change to suit her needs and desires. Instead of dogging the man, she should have just realized that maybe he was not the right one for her. Something she really knew from the beginning but just didn't want to face.
Then she gets with her friends, who have had similar experiences with black men, and they castrate all black men! Stating what good for nothing dogs they all are. She will even carry this hate, negativity and mistrust into her next relationship, damaging it before it even gets started. She expects the relationship not to work out so when it doesn't, she proudly say's, "I told y