Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments

Front Cover
Macmillan, May 30, 2006 - Humor - 240 pages

From the wickedly hilarious pen of Southern humorist Celia Rivenbark comes a collection of essays that brings to mind Dave Barry (in high heels) or Jeff Foxworthy (in a prom dress).

"Bright, witty, and warm."
---St. Petersburg Times

"Hilarious---and right on the money."
---The Charlotte Observer

"Just when you think Erma Bombeck strip-mined the comedy out of motherhood, Rivenbark shows off some sparkling new gems."
---The State (Columbia , SC)

Step into the wacky world of "womanless wedding" fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else.
Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern---and just plain human---foibles, up-close and personal.
So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp.

 

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - ChrisWeir - www.librarything.com

Fun book written with the Southern woman's point of view. The first section is devoted to motherhood and all of the things she said she would never do. Giving her child soda pop or French fries. The ... Read full review

LibraryThing Review

User Review  - BettyTaylor56 - LibraryThing

This was a really funny book. I learned about measurements - a tad, smidgen, passel mite, a right smart, a mess, a whole heap, etc. A quote on endearments: "A Southerner can get away with the most ... Read full review

Contents

A Mom Looks at Forty
3
Fifties Home Economics Advice
9
Mama Celias Marriage Tips
15
If Hes So Sick Why Am I So Tired?
21
Total Woman This
27
A Caveman Weekend
33
Big Fake Breasts
49
Can Quit Anytime I Like
63
Lard Is Good Lard Is Great
103
This Beer Was Made for Wearin
112
Carlos and Ruby
125
PART THREE AND EVERYWHERE ELSE
131
Ive Scanned So Wheres My Check?
149
Clams Flying Batman and Me
158
Homeshopping Blues
170
Barbie the Telemarketer
192

Time to Reclaim My Funny Skin?
73
Bless Your Heart Tramp
79
Thats Mizzeriz to You Kiddo
87
Liddy Dole Doesnt Snort
97
Calling Mom from the Train Tracks
198
Fashion Takes a Holiday
204
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About the author (2006)

Celia Rivenbark is the author of the award-winning bestsellers Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank, Belle Weather, and You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning. We're Just Like You, Only Prettier won a Southern Independent Booksellers Alliance (SIBA) Book Award for nonfiction and was a finalist for the James Thurber Prize for American Humor. Born and raised in Duplin County, North Carolina, Rivenbark grew up in a small house "with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats." She started out writing for her hometown paper. She writes a weekly, nationally syndicated humor column for the Myrtle Beach Sun News. She lives in Wilmington, North Carolina.

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