Breaking the Good Mom Myth: Every Mom's Modern Guide to Getting Past Perfection, Regaining Sanity, and Raising Great Kids

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John Wiley & Sons, Jan 28, 2010 - Juvenile Nonfiction - 224 pages
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As a psychotherapist, parent educator and parent coach, Alyson Schäfer has worked with a great many mothers who, in the quest to be a "good mother" have ended up on the door step of despair. Alyson is a forty-something, suburbanite, working-mother of two and can speak to these issues both personally and professionally.

This book explains the psycho-social phenomena of how each person creates their own unique "good mother myth" and then examines why these myths are not only faulty, but could in fact lead to poor parenting, marital disaster and individual crisis. Her years of educating parents around these concepts afford Alyson the skill to take complex ideas and explain them to a lay audience in a compelling and easy to understand way.

Capitalizing on the need to present parents with information in an easy to digest format, the book is presented as a series of personal stories, each highlighting a common parenting myth. This format will appeal to tired parents who have little time and energy for "academia". Instead, readers learn by taking a voyeuristic peek into the private family lives of the book's characters. Readers can identify with the fictitious parents and coaching clients in the stories and see first hand how the characters ’ life experiences shaped their unique "good mother myths" and how these myths create conflict in their lives.

The author offers up ideas for how the character can reject her current thinking and adopt a more useful outlook to improve her situation. The story arc allows readers to identify and then project how their parenting may be unknowingly going off the rails.

The goal of this book is to provide parents with some basic education and a means of self-discovery. Readers uncover their own good mother myths and are given an eye-opening glimpse into potential issues to challenge their thinking. A great sense of empowerment is restored as mothers become better able to resist the pulls of their personal and cultural myths, and instead begin parenting with greater intention and in ways that are more suitable to proper child guidance.

 

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Contents

How Did We Get So Crazy?
Does Anyone Have the Answers?
Lessons from Airlines
SelfCare IsNotSelfish
Why SelfCare Is Important
So Why Dont We Take Care of Ourselves?
Change Can Start with a Simple Experiment
Children as Chattel
What to Expect
Losing the Battle for Democratic Parenting
How Control Gets in the Way
Understanding the Dynamics of a Power Struggle
Dont WorryImNot Controlling
Getting Out of Power Struggles
The Dirty Word
Your BEST Parenting Tool

Mothering a New Way
My Childs Misbehavior Is Making Me Look Bad
Children Misbehave Simply Because It WORKS
Stages of Marriage
The Children Come First
Our Children Dont Come First?
Nip It in the Proverbial Bud
How Marriages Impact Child Development
A Good Marriage Is Not Necessarily ConflictFree
These Fights Keep Getting Longer and Longer
Is He Lazy or Discouraged?
What to Do When You and Your Partner Parent Differently
Bedroom Intimacy Reflects Relationship Health
Parental Sex Tips
PamperingWhat Are We Really Talkin About Here?
Why We Are a Pampering Culture?
Changes in Parenting Styles
The GrowthInhibiting Effects of Pampering
Ill Just Pamper for a Few YearsEarly Childhood Is the Time You Never Get Back
What Can We Do?
The Alternative
The Democratic Parents First Tools
Throwing Off the Shackles of Dependence
Understanding Why the Heck Kids Fight Anyway
Cycle of Discouragement
Moms Perspective
Heres Another
Solution Time
Reducing Sibling Competition
Stay Out of Their Fights
Put Them in the Same Boat
Schooling and Education Are Bad? Not True
The Myths That Drive Good Moms to Wanna Push
A Good Head Start
If I Dont Raise a Competitive Child Hell Be Overtaken
Without My Involvement My Child Would Perform Below Potential
What Is a Mothers Role in Her Childs Education?
The Dirty Secret at the Heart of the Education Myths
How We Can Encourage Children
Encouragement Is NOT Praise
The Special Language of Encouragement
Its All About Fun and Entertaining Isnt It?
Meet Momutainment
The Hidden Cost of Fun
Slow Parenting Your Way to Happiness
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About the author (2010)

Alyson Schäfer, BSc, MA Counseling OACCPP AAMFT

Alyson Schafer is a psychotherapist and recognized as one of Canada's foremost parenting experts. She is the host of The Parenting Show, a call-in advice show on Roger’s Television, and the regular guest parenting expert on CBC television’s The Gill Deacon Show. Alyson is also a Chapters’ Indigo Trusted Advisor and a popular corporate speaker for Lifespeak. Alyson is the selected speaker for Rainbow Canada's 2007 speaker series. You can find Alyson's advice in articles in Today's Parent, Canadian Family, Chatelaine, Canadian Living and Readers Digest and through her website: www.alyson.ca.

Alyson brings the age-old topic of parenting to a twenty-first century audience of educated, enlightened and motivated parents. Her style is fast and witty, and her information is grounded in theory and research. Alyson educates, inspires and entertains — whether speaking to an audience of parents, presenting workshops, or one-on- one in private parent coaching sessions.

As a mother of two and a former nursery school teacher, Alyson brings real life experience and passion to her work.

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