Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: How to Move Beyond Your Past to Create an Abuse-Free Future

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John Wiley & Sons, Nov 1, 2004 - Self-Help - 278 pages
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"A beacon of hope for women and men who fear that they will pass the abuse they have suffered on to their children, partners, or employees. Humane and compassionate but also clear and down to earth, this is a wonderful contribution to the literature on healing."
--Lundy Bancroft, author of When Dad Hurts Mom and Why Does He Do That?

"In this remarkably powerful, wise, and compassionate book, Beverly Engel leads readers step by step through a program that will help survivors of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood to heal from their wounds so they don't need to re-enact their abusive pasts. She offers expert advice and strategies to help parents and would-be parents avoid doing to their children what was done to them and helps both abusers and victims in emotionally and physically abusive relationships make vitally important changes in their relationships."
--Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Toxic Parents and Emotional Blackmail

If you were emotionally, physically, or sexually abused as a child or adolescent, or if you experienced neglect or abandonment, it isn't a question of whether you will continue the cycle of abuse but rather a question of how--whether you will become an abuser or continue to be a victim. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, a leading expert on emotional and sexual abuse, explains how to stop the cycle of abuse once and for all. Her step-by-step program provides the necessary skills for gaining control over emotions, changing negative attitudes, learning healthy ways of communicating, healing the damage from prior abuse, and seeking out support.

Throughout, Engel shares many dramatic personal stories including her own experiences with abusive behavior. Breaking the Cycle of Abuse gives you the power to shatter abusive patterns for good and offers a legacy of hope and healing for you and your family.
 

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Breaking the cycle of abuse: how to move beyond your past to create an abuse-free future

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According to Engel, "in the past twenty-five years studies on abuse and family assaults strongly suggest that abused children become abusers themselves," yet victims often don't receive any treatment ... Read full review

Contents

Introduction
1
Part One Understanding the Legacy of Abuse
7
What Will Be Your Legacy?
9
Assessing Your Risk Factors
23
Why We Do to Others and Ourselves What Was Done to Us
42
Part Two Facing the Truth and Facing Your Feelings
57
Coming Out of Denial
59
Learn to Identify and Manage Your Emotions
72
Coping with Fear
138
Part Three Abuse Prevention Strategies
155
How to Prevent Partner Abuse
157
How to Prevent Child Abuse
181
If You Have Already Become Abusive
202
If You Have Already Been Abused or Established a Victim Pattern
212
Emotionally Separating from Your Parents
223
Breaking into the Dysfunctional Family System
241

Learn How to Identify and Manage Your Shame
86
Managing Your Anger
115
Epilogue
258
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About the author (2004)

BEVERLY ENGEL is an internationally recognized expert in emotional and sexual abuse. A licensed marriage and family therapist for twenty-eight years, she is the author of many nonfiction books dealing with emotional and sexual abuse, including The Emotionally Abused Woman and The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Her four most recent books are The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, Honor Your Anger, Loving Him without Losing You, and The Power of Apology, which was a finalist in the Books for a Better Life Awards. Engel conducts workshops and professional training programs throughout the United States and has appeared on many national television shows and networks, including Oprah, Donahue, Ricki Lake, Sally Jessy Rapha?l, CNN, and others.

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