Care to Make Love in That Gross Little Space Between Cars?: A Believer Book of Advice

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Vintage Books, 2012 - Humor - 256 pages
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The Believer magazine presents a compendium of advice from producers, writers, and actors of The Daily Show, Saturday Night Live, Parks and Recreation, Late Show with David Letterman, The Hangover, and The Colbert Report, along with other musicians, cartoonists, New Yorker writers, and those similarly unqualified to offer guidance.

Here Amy Sedaris describes the perfect murder for unwanted hermit crabs—you will need a piece of meat and a brick. Simon Rich explains how to avoid being found dead in your underwear by firemen—buy some long johns. Zach Galifianakis provides insight into how he changed his name without a social security card—he just started calling himself Adam Zapple, and it stuck. Bob Saget finally illuminates what “friends with benefits” really means—a nonsexual relationship wherein your ex makes monetary deposits into your bank account.

Contributors include:

Rob Baedeker, Anne Beatts, Elizabeth Beckwith, Jerri Blank, Roz Chast, Louis C.K., Mike Doughty, Dave Eggers, Rich Fulcher, Zach Galifianakis, Dan Guterman, Anthony Jeselnik, Julie Klausner, Lisa Lampanelli, Nick Hornby, Sam Lipsyte, Liam Lynch, Merrill Markoe, Rose McGowan, Misc. Canadian rock musicians, Laraine Newman, The Pleasure Syndicate, Bob Powers, Simon Rich, Bob Saget, George Saunders, Kristen Schaal, Paul Scheer, Amy Sedaris, Allison Silverman, Paul Simms, Brendon Small, Jerry Stahl, Scott Thompson, Fred Willard, Cintra Wilson, Weird Al Yankovic, and Alan Zweibel
 

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Contents

INTRODUCTION BY JUDD APATow
3
KRISTEN SCHAAL
9
K
15
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
29
JERRY STAHL
35
Bob Powers
41
THE PLEASURE SYNDICATE
48
DAVE EGGERS
58
ANNE BEATTS
83
BRENDON SMALL
99
ALAN ZWEIBEL
116
MERRILL MARKOE
134
ELIZABETH BECKWITH
149
LARAINE NEWMAN
167
ROB BAEDEKER
184
SCOTT THOMPSON 2
206

AMY SEDARIS
65
LIAM LYNCH
72
SIMON RICH
78
NICK HORNBY
226
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About the author (2012)

The Believer is a magazine offering essays, interviews, reviews, and advice, the latter of which appears in the form of a monthly column called “Sedaratives.” The Sedaratives column, which started in May 2005 with advice by Amy Sedaris, gave rise to this book.

Mike Sacks is on the editorial staff of Vanity Fair magazine. His work has appeared in Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, Esquire, GQ, Salon, The New York Times, The Washington Post, McSweeney's, The Believer, Vice, and other publications. Sacks is the author of three books: And Here's the Kicker: Conversations with 21 Top Humor Writers; SEX: Our Bodies, Our Junk; and Your Wildest Dreams, Within Reason.

Eric Spitznagel is a contributing editor for The Believer magazine, where he cocreated (along with Amy Sedaris) the Sedaratives column. He's also the author of six books and a frequent contributor to Playboy and Vanity Fair. He has one more testicle than Hitler, which he considers a moral victory.

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