Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks: The Essential Alan Coren

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Canongate Books, Feb 10, 2008 - Literary Collections - 448 pages
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Edited by his children, Giles and Victoria, Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks is an anthology of writing from the former editor of Punch and Radio 4 national treasure Alan Coren, who died in October 2007. In a prolific forty-year career Alan Coren wrote for The Times, Observer, Tatler, Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, Listener, Punch and the New Yorker, and published over 20 books including The Sanity Inspector, Golfing for Cats and The Collected Bulletins of Idi Amin (he turned down an invitation from Amin to visit Uganda saying, 'I'll probably end up as a sandwich'). Even twenty years ago he estimated that he had published six million words, or ten copies of War and Peace. This anthology draws together the best of Coren's previously published material as well as new unpublished autobiographical material. Coren was one of Britain's most prolific and now much-missed humourists, finding the comedy of life all around him and rendering it, hilariously and compellingly, in polished and witty prose which will be eagerly devoured by his loyal fanbase.
 

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User Review  - emmakendon - LibraryThing

This was a wonderful read, just after I'd finished Alan Plater's "Doggin' Around". Coren's wit and succinct choice of words had me laughing with delight. It's hard to pull out special favourites ... Read full review

Contents

Present Laughter
19
19601969
25
Introduction by Melvyn Bragg
27
No But I Saw the Movie
30
Through a Glass Darkly
36
It Tolls for Thee
43
that Fell on the House that Jack Built
48
Under the Influence of Literature
54
Mr Noon by D H Lawrence
276
No Bloody Fear
281
Getting the Hump
287
True Snails Read anag 8 6
293
One is One and All Alone
299
10 66 And All That
305
Red Sales in the Sunset
312
Cave Canem
317

This Thing with the Lions
62
Bohemia
69
The Power and the Glory
78
Mao Hes Making Eyes At Me
86
Death Duties
92
19701979
97
Introduction by Victoria Wood
99
Boom What Makes My House Go Boom?
102
Suffer Little Children
108
Ear Believed Genuine Van Gogh Hardly Used What Offers?
115
Fathers Lib
121
Let Us Now Phone Famous Men
126
The Rime of the Ancient Filmmaker
134
Good God Thats Never The Time Is It?
141
Going Cheep
146
Go Easy Mr Beethoven That Was Your Fifth
151
Take the Wallpaper in the Left Hand and the Hammer in the Right
157
Owing to Circumstances Beyond our Control 1984 has been Unavoidably Detained
163
An Apology to the Bookseller
170
Baby Talk Keep Talking Baby Talk
172
The Hell at Pooh Corner
178
And Though They Do Their Best To Bring Me Aggravation
183
Life mitVater
188
Dr No will See You Now
193
Bottle Party
200
The Unacknowledged Legislators of the World
205
The Hounds Of Spring Are On Winters
211
The Bulletins of Idi Amin
217
All O De People All De Time
219
A Word Fom De Sponsor
221
De Whitehall Snub
223
A Star Gittin Born
225
19801989
229
Introduction by Clive James
231
Tax Britannica
235
Blue Flics
242
Smiling Through
249
The Gospel According to St Durham
255
O Little Town of Cricklewood
259
Just a Gasp at Twilight
265
For Fear of Finding Something Worse
270
19901999
323
Introduction by A A Gill
325
Here We Go Round the Prickly Pear
328
Uneasy Lies the Head
331
Salt in the Wound
334
Good God Thats Never The Time? 2
337
Japanese Sandmen
340
Card Index
343
Brightly Shone The Rain That Night
346
Tuning Up
349
The Queen My Lord is Quite Herself I Fear
352
The Green Hills of Cricklewood
355
Making Old Bones
358
Osric the Hedgehog
361
Doomd For a Certain Term to Walk the Night
364
Garden Pests
367
Time for a Quick One?
370
The Leaving of Cricklewood
373
Lo Yonder Waves the Fruitful Palm
376
Fabric Conditioning
379
Numbers Racket
382
Eight Legs Worse
385
Do DillyDally on the Way
389
On a Wing and a Prayer
392
And Did Those Feet?
395
Nothing But The Truth
398
20002007
401
Introduction by Stephen Fry
403
Radio Fun
406
Not My Bag
409
Queening It
412
Domestic Drama
415
Road Rage
418
Southern Discomfort
421
Poles Apart
424
All Quiet On The Charity Front
427
Ah Yes I Remember It Well
430
Blame the Dealers
433
The Long Goodbye
436
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About the author (2008)

Alan Coren (27 June 1938 - 18 October 2007) was an English humourist, writer and satirist who was well known as a regular panellist on the BBC radio quiz The News Quiz and a team captain on BBC television's Call My Bluff. Coren was also a journalist, and for nine years was the editor of Punch magazine.

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