Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct

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Macmillan, Feb 28, 2002 - Body, Mind & Spirit - 196 pages
4 Reviews
Most people would agree that thoughtful behavior and common decency are in short supply, or simply forgotten in hurried lives of emails, cellphones, and multi-tasking. In Choosing Civility, P. M. Forni identifies the twenty-five rules that are most essential in connecting effectively and happily with others. In clear, witty, and, well...civilized language, Forni covers topics that include:

* Think Twice Before Asking Favors
* Give Constructive Criticism
* Refrain from Idle Complaints
* Respect Others' Opinions
* Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame
* Care for Your Guests
* Accept and Give Praise

Finally, Forni provides examples of how to put each rule into practice and so make life-and the lives of others-more enjoyable, companionable, and rewarding.

Choosing Civility is a simple, practical, perfectly measured, and quietly magical handbook on the lost art of civility and compassion.

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User Review  - TedH - Borders

I suppose you could argue that the contents of this book should be obvious to all of us but, the evidence out there is that civility is rare in many relationships and that may be because we don't ... Read full review

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Unlike a can't-put-it-down novel, or a dive-in-and-devour non-fiction, I could only read this book a bit at a time, pausing and reflecting between sections. Each rule, situation or example presented an opportunity to reconsider events from my own life, in which I have been uncivil, or someone has been uncivil to me, or to someone else in my presence.
Those reflections were sometimes painful, but usually instructive. Each was an opportuntity to examine events, possible motivations, and outcomes. An opportuntity to acknowledge, accept and let go.
More importantly, the book reminded me that we each face choices, every day - at home, in traffic, at work, while shopping, etc. Choices not only of how to behave, but how to react when others behave uncivily. A small adjustment in my behavior can reduce my stress and improve my outlook. I've found that to be of lasting value since reading the book.
I just purchased Forni's follow-on book, "The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude", and am looking forward to it.



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About the author (2002)

DR. P.M. FORNI is an award-winning professor of Italian Literature at Johns Hopkins University. In 2000 he founded The Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins and over the years has continued to teach courses on the theory and history of manners. His book Choosing Civility (2002) has sold more than 100,000 copies. Reports on his work have appeared on The New York Times, The Times of London, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and The Los Angeles Times. He has been a on a number of radio and television shows, including ABC's World News Tonight, CBS Sunday Morning and BBC's Outlook. For years he was a regular on-the-air contributor to the Baltimore NPR affiliate station and the nationally syndicated radio show The Satellite Sisters.

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