Counseling Gems: Thoughts for the Practitioner

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Taylor & Francis, 1989 - Psychology - 176 pages
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This book contains 110 "gems" about counseling situations gleaned from a practitioner's experience as an advisor to practicum students in counseling in which he advised students on different ways to think about counseling situations. The suggestions are organized under eight headings. The first 19 suggestions deal with counseling philosophy and points of view and the next 10 focus on goals and boundaries of counseling. Five suggestions are included in a section of clients' reasons for counseling and 21 suggestions are specific to the counselor's role in counseling. Nine suggestions focus on problems encountered in counseling and 31 suggestions are concerned with counseling techniques and procedures. Thirteen suggestions are included in a section on the "do's" and don'ts" of counseling. The final two suggestions look at termination of treatment. For each of the 110 suggestions, the "gem" is presented in bold type followed by brief comments on the idea presented in the "gem." (NB)
 

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This is a very useful resource gor beginning Counsellors, thank you!

Contents

Counseling is helping people
3
You must have filters
4
The reason persons are not solving their life problems ts
6
The power of positive thinking only works for those people who are already happy
7
Real clients are seldom easy clients with whom to work
8
Clients are better at being clients than
9
A degree or 10 degree shift in the situation can 1O 8 All behavior has meaning and purpose
11
Habits become habits because
12
What they have done to others they will do to yousomehow
88
Counseling ultimately deals with
90
Misunderstanding the counselor ls
92
Too logical or too intuitive? That ts the question
93
Clients are never stuck ln the counseling
95
Whos holding badethe counselor or the client?
96
ls it anger sadness or despair?
97
Resentmentof whom?
99

Defense mechanisms are chosen and maintained because
13
No allnothings exist
14
Remember that n counseling the problem Is
15
Counseling ts the TRUTH BUSNESS
16
Clients are seldom helpless
17
When a client agrees with you
18
People are not weak
19
However you arejeeltng about the client or are responding to the client Is probably what the client intended
20
A counseling relationship has several stages
22
Counselors lose more clients by
23
GOALS AND BOUNDARIES OFCOUNSELING
25
The counseling relationship has a unique set of parameters ujhIch
27
AH problems In counseling are relationship problems Period
30
All relationship problems are related to either power or lntimacy
31
The clients problem ls rarely the real problem
32
Mythologythe basts ofltalL
34
New insight and new language give the client
36
The one iuho glues In gets euen
37
Valuefree counselingIt doesnteiftsti
38
Counseling ts a process In which we try to avoid the winlose part of living
40
Never let a client TT on you
42
SECTIONm CLIENTS REASONS FOR COUNSELING
45
For many people seeing a counselor Is
47
Sense of failure
49
Clients usually hope you can help
50
ln their hearts they know theyre not to blame 5 1
51
The client secretly hopes that
52
SECHONIV COUNSELORS ROLE
57
Creating ones life through choices
58
To be Intimate means to be vulnerable
59
You must train your client to be your client
60
hold the counselor 75 to 8O percent responsibleor
61
The counselor not the client Is ln control of the Interview
63
Give yow clients hope They need it
64
Jf clients haue made such a mess of things how can they ever depend on themselves again
65
Never contribute to the delinquency of your client
67
You must be willing to be responsibleor making the client feel bad
68
Clients are excellent at what they are doing wrong
69
Sincerity does not mean truth
70
You cannot not communicate
71
Accepting ones humanness
72
The superego
74
Angerfear and sadness or grief are alway that which the client is trying to avoid
76
lf you have to explain what counseling ts
77
People who cry too easily People who anger too easily
79
People who control their emotions may control more than they know
80
At different times ln a counseling relationship believe the client and the counselor one In a kind of war
81
Do you want me to be a good counselor or a bad one?
82
SECTIONV PROBLEMS IN COUNSELING
85
TECHNIQUES AND PROCEDURES
101
Theres no such thing as nothing
103
Dont listen to the clients story Llstenjor their lifestyle within the story
104
Client history On my terms only
105
Patterns of behavior early memories familiar situations all can be keys to early intenttonality
107
Transerence When It happens youue struck gold
109
actually throw a counselor switch on and iff at will
112
The best basts for establishing the counseling relationship Is
113
Beginning the lnterview 11 5
115
Beginning the relationship
117
andyou?
119
hate the question How do youeel? or Hou? are youeelIng?
120
always have three HereNowsfrom which to choose 1 22
124
Humor in therapy ts a tricky issue
125
S1 To the largest extent possible make the counseling session an experience of the clients life
126
The great mystery
127
Theamous chairs and how to Introduce them
129
AboufIsm uersus nowlsm
131
you Just had a thought
133
AndBut
135
Find out what ls not what tsnt
136
When a client ls talking aboutpeople they may be talking about youcheck It out
137
Listenbra refrain
138
When you make an lntervention pay particular attention to how
140
To make the clients material meaningful intensify lntensify lntensify
141
Confrontation does not mean aggresstonf
143
SubuocalIzatIonyou cant stop tt but you must change It
145
Another perspective
147
l always take it seriously
148
SEcnoNvn DOANDDONT
149
Ask brood questions about narrow subjects
151
A great answer to a different question 1 53
153
KlSS Keep It Super Simple
154
Spontaneity may mean you are unprepared
155
Body languagethe least well defended
157
Talking aboutfeelings without having feelings is seldom helpfui
159
Counseling is not a social dialogue dont be polite
160
Dontask why ask what
161
One question at a time
162
lf you ask a question dont you answer it
164
The client may be trying to entertain you or himselfherself
165
VatchJbrthetearsbehindthelaughtcr
166
lf you miss an important dynamic or piece of information
167
SECTIONVm TERMINATION
169
How da you end an interview?
171
When are you ready to stop counseling?
174
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
175
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