Dealing With Difficult People
McGraw Hill Professional, Apr 7, 2006 - Business & Economics - 128 pages
Explains how to:
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Dealing with difficult people
Recognize the 10 most unwanted behaviors
Choose your approach
Understand the four intents
Understand the first intent get it done
Understand the second intent get it right
Understand the third intent get along
Understand the fourth intent get appreciated
Project and expect the best
Bring out the best in the Tank
Bring out the best in the Sniper
Bring out the best in the KnowItAll
Bring out the best in the ThinkTheyKnowItAll
Bring out the best in the Grenade
Bring out the best in the Yes Person
Bring out the best in the Maybe Person
Recognize the results of threatened intents
Listen to understand
Reach a deeper understanding
Speak to be understood
Bring out the best in the Nothing Person
Bring out the best in the No Person
Bring out the best in the Whiner
Take the first three action steps
Other Titles in the McGrawHill Professional Education Series
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Dealing With Difficult People: 24 Lessons for Bring Out the Best In Everyone
Dr. Rick Brinkman,Richard Kirschner
No preview available - 2006
24 Lessons action steps Adjust your attitude aggressive appreciation assertive attention avoid backtrack behave behavior becomes behavior Understand behaviors are sometimes blend comfort zone conflict Cope Count your blessings Counter the behavior Dealing with Difficult dealing with someone decision deeper understanding defensive diffi difficult behavior difficult person doesn’t effective listening Everything is wrong facial expressions feedback five steps four choices four intents Friendly Sniper Grenade ideas identify intentionally left blank isn’t It-All key intent key points Know the dynamics Know-It-All licensors Lombardi McGraw-Hill Normal Zone ority appears passive people’s perfectionist Person Bring person’s problem person Pygmalion Power reach a deeper Recognize redirect Reduce differences situation skills solutions someone whose top sometimes driven strategy sure talking Tank Tank’s tell there’s they’re things Think-They-Know-It-All tion tive trademark Understand that behaviors unwanted behaviors We’ve what’s Whiner wrong Yes Person you’ll
Page 9 - No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."® Well, today, I stopped giving Kevin Hennessey my consent.
Page 100 - For transit there is both good news and bad news. The bad news is that...
Page 86 - Person is to find the time to deal with him or her. To get something from a Nothing Person, you must be calm and relaxed. Understand the intent: Nothing People can be task-focused, if their intent is to get it right, or people-focused, if their intent is to get along. Determine what matters. Avoid getting angry: Your Nothing Person is trying to avoid conflict and disapproval. Getting angry will simply push a Nothing Person deeper into his or her nothingness. "No verbal feedback, no nonverbal feedback....
Page 52 - ... expectations. The power of expectations can't be underestimated. We call this phenomenon Pygmalion Power. If you tell people you have high expectations of them, they will not deny it. They will in fact take a step in that direction. But conversely, if you let it be known that you have low expectations, these will most likely be fulfilled, as well. When your problem person is engaging in negative behavior, you maybe tempted to say, "That's the problem with you.
Page 90 - Person's actions in perspective. Be patient: It may sometimes appear that changes take place at a snail's pace. But if you are patient, there are few things as gratifying as people conquering their negative behavior. Appreciate the No Person: He or she may bring up points worth considering, if you're wise enough to sort through the negativity. Just because the No Person goes to extremes doesn't mean that he or she is wrong.
Page 22 - They may not take action because of concerns about the consequences. They may find fault with others for not caring enough. Recognize that the intent to get it right can lead to perfectionist behaviors: This can express itself as the whining of the Whiner, the negativity of the No Person, or the silent withdrawal of the Nothing Person. But what they all have in common is their sureness that nothing works out positively.
Page 78 - Person will simply make him or her ashamed, the behavior will continue as the person promises you anything he or she thinks will placate you. Be patient: Recognize that your Yes Person is lacking organizational skills and is unable to recognize or fix this without help. Once you've helped the Yes Person develop task skills, his or her helpful nature will make that person the best teammate you could hope for. Help with...
Page 14 - Focus 14 (These aren't the only intentions that motivate people, but they serve as a useful framework for understanding and dealing with difficult behaviors.) When these intents become thwarted or frustrated, trouble arises. Behaviors can be pushed to the extreme — which may lead to the difficult behaviors outlined earlier. The following diagram shows how the four intents relate to the four behaviors.
Page 92 - s complaints have little to do with stress relief and are rarely helpful. Whiners are cousins to the No People, in the sense that their actions also emerge from the intent to get it right. But while they have a sense that things should be different, they have no idea how this should happen. So instead of taking action, they whine.
Page 33 - And so it begins: a person who might otherwise be inclined to act within the "normal zone" of human interaction starts drifting outside that zone, into a "gray zone" of less acceptable behavior and even into problem behavior. The key points: Understand that each of the four intents grows out Of human nature: People are only human, after all!