Discipline Without Anger: A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Responsible Behavior
Child Psychologist Jerry Adams recognizes that many parents rely on restrictions, yelling, or spanking for discipline but that they rarely see lasting changes for their efforts. They are frustrated and discouraged with their children's behavior, but they are unsure how to make their discipline work. To help parents effectively discipline their children without relying on punishment, Dr. Adams has written Discipline Without Anger: A Parents Guide to Teaching Children Responsible Behavior. This book provides a comprehensive strategy for teaching children to meet expectations in the first place, rather than waiting for them to misbehave and then punishing them for their misbehavior. Discipline Without Anger is based upon the author's work with hundreds of families. The author developed, presented, and refined the approach over nearly two decades of working with children and their parents in his role as a child psychologist in a large health care system. Utilizing feedback from the parents about what does and does not work, the author provides an effective, loving alternative for teaching children to assume appropriate levels of responsibility for their own behavior. Readers will learn principles underlying child behavior and will also learn detailed steps for developing structured home programs tailored to meet the specific needs and goals of their own families. Discipline Without Anger is intended for busy parents, whatever their life styles and whatever the ages, types of behavior, and levels of cooperation of their children. Discipline Without Anger: Guides parents to develop, implement, and maintain their own home program; Shows parents how to extend their influence to settings wherethey cannot be with their kids; Gives parents detailed guidelines for ending inappropriate behavior, both at home and away; and Provides parents with numerous examples illustrating how the approach can be adapted to all sorts of situations.
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Discipline Without Anger:
A Parent’s Guide to Teaching Children Responsible Behavior
A Review byBernard Salzberg, Ph. D., J. D.
Author of The Art of Parenting
Some people are considered experts because they have written a book. Others become experts and write a book only after acquiring the knowledge and expertise to know what they are talking about. Nowhere is this more true than in the arena of parent education and training, which seems particularly vulnerable to fads, pop psychology, and gurus who are here today and gone tomorrow.
As a clinical psychologist with over 30 years of work with parents and children, Jerry Adams, Ph. D., has been “battle tested.” He developed Discipline Without Anger after years of being faced with real-world parent-child problems that did not yield to conventional approaches or to common tactics born of parental frustrations – such ineffective tactics as punishing, ridiculing, unintentionally rewarding undesirable behavior, and using meaningless, disproportionately-exaggerated, or misapplied threats.
Discipline Without Anger is a skillful blend of theory, practice, homespun anecdotes. and practical answers to the types of real life issues that frequently cause parents to want to pull their hair out.
However, this book is even more because it takes off where other similar resources typically end.
Professionals who deal with parent-child problems will tell you that parents typically seek help because their child is doing something wrong (for example, hitting other children) or not doing something right (such as failing to complete their homework). These are valid concerns which, if extreme enough, might prompt a parent to seek help. In Discipline Without Anger, Dr. Adams takes on these and many other problems which lead parents to the doors of child psychologists and other professionals.
But when sharing heartfelt concerns about their children, most parents will tell you they want to be more than disciplinarians who make their children toe the line and stay out of trouble; they want to be positive influences to help their children learn, grow, and mature into healthy, happy, and productive adults.
And therein lies the beauty and uniqueness of Discipline Without Anger. A healthy child is not merely the absence of negative thoughts and actions. Rather, a healthy child embodies a reservoir of emotional resources and behaviors which help him/her interact with the world in productive and positive ways. Children are not born with these abilities, they are learned, and Discipline Without Anger teaches parents how to guide their children to acquire these skills without resorting to common parental tactics of yelling, bullying, demeaning, and spanking. Because of this, the book will be equally useful for parents with major concerns about their child’s behavior and for those parents simply looking for a constructive, effective way to guide their child’s growth and development.
Discipline Without Anger is a remarkable book, both for the complexity of what it teaches and for reducing that complexity into a format which is understandable and doable for any parent (or other child-rearing adult) who is serious about wanting to learn how to be a truly positive force in his/her child’s life. However, there is one caveat: parents who want to drop their child off at a professional’s office “to be fixed” will not find the book to their liking because it requires active parent participation. But for those willing to make the effort to be the parents and positive role-models their children want and need them to be, Discipline Without Anger will be an essential ally.
Overview of this section
Step 2 Making it good
Step 3 Building your program into your family life
Maintaining influence while away from your child
Reducing inappropriate behavior
Overview and orientation
Modifying your program over time
Fitting your program to special occasions
Some concluding remarks