Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I'm Grounded?: Stop Fighting, Start Talking, and Get to Know Your Teen

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Penguin, Aug 30, 2011 - Family & Relationships - 320 pages
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Vanessa Petten bridges the communication gap between teens and parents.

Every parent fears "losing" their child. But in this revolutionary book, youthologist Vanessa Van Petten translates what parents want to say into what teens want to hear.

At 16, Vanessa Van Petten started her award-winning website,, in reaction to sudden friction with her parents. Today, Vanessa and more than one hundred teen contributors help thousands of parents build and maintain healthy, strong, mutually fulfilling relationships with their teenage children-by providing prescriptive advice straight from the source.

From classic fights like dating and chores to 21st Century issues such as sexting and cyberbullying, this comprehensive book provides step-by-step guidance on every worry, including:

  • Lying
  • Peer Pressure
  • Social Networking
  • Sex
  • School
  • Drugs

    It's never too late to reconnect. Vanessa Van Petten helps you learn what's really going on in your child's life, and most importantly- understand when to put your foot down and when to let go.


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DO I GET MY ALLOWANCE BEFORE OR AFTER I'M GROUNDED?: Stop Fighting, Start Talking, and Get to Know Your Teen

User Review  - Jane Doe - Kirkus

A 25-year-old "youthologist" offers firsthand insight to assist parents and children in building better relationships.By the time Van Petten was ready to celebrate her Sweet Sixteen, she had already ... Read full review


About Me and My Work
Why This Book IsSuperDifferent
What to Expect
Challenges You Can Do Right Now
The Mom Version
The Vanessa Version
Challenges You Can Do Right Now
Challenges You Can Do Right Now
Challenges You Can Do Right Now
Creating Transition Time and Boundaries
2 Busting the Top Areas of Academic Stress
3 Dealing with Slackers and Poor Grades
4 Fostering Efficiency and Balance
5 Preparing for College
Challenges You Can Do Right Now
1 Remember Its Never Relative

Challenges You Can Do Right Now
Challenges You Can Do Right Now
1 Encouraging the Right Kind of Risk Taking
2 Finding Passion
4 Choosing Battles and Gaining Perspective on What Is Normal
5 The Power of Scapegoats
6 Proper Discipline and Punishments
7 Talking About Sex Intimacy and Dating
8 Dealing with Liars
2 Localize the Anxiety and Identify the Stress
3 Embrace the Idea of Whole Children
4 Encourage Mental Hygiene
5 Encourage Them to Be More Grateful
Challenges You Can Do Right Now
The Online StepbyStep Parenting Guide
Activities and Bonding Ideas
Recommended Resources

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About the author (2011)

VANESSA VAN PETTEN has been writing and speaking about teen issues since she was sixteen. She founded and is a CNN columnist, as well as winner of the Mom’s Choice Award. She travels the country speaking to all types of groups about family relationships, teen lifestyles, advertising to Net-Generation and many other issues pertaining to Gen Y. She lives in Los Angeles.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

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