Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with Your Adult Children

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Palgrave Macmillan, Aug 5, 2008 - Family & Relationships - 234 pages
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Parents make enormous sacrifices helping children become healthy and autonomous adults. And when children are older, popular wisdom advises parents to let go, disconnect, and bite their tongues. But increasing life spans mean that parents and children can spend as many as five or six decades as adults together: actively parenting adult children is a reality for many families.

Dr. Ruth Nemzoff--a leading expert in family dynamics--empowers parents to create close relationships with their adult children, while respecting their independence. Based on personal stories as well as advice that she has accrued from years of coaching, this lively and readable book shows parents how to:

-communicate at long distances
-discuss financial issues without using money as a form of control
-speak up when disapproving of an adult child's partner or childrearing practices
-handle adult children's career choices or other midlife changes
-navigate an adult child's interreligious, interracial or same sex relationships

No other book treats the challenges of parent and adult offspring relationships as part and parcel of a healthy family dynamic. This practical lessons of Don't Bite Your Tongue will help parents play a vital and positive role in their children's lives.

 

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Contents

Get Comfortable with Ambiguity
1
Dont Let Go Dont Bite Your Tongue
11
Know Yourself
25
Say Goodbye to Fantasy and Hello to Reality
39
Emerging Adulthood
51
Refilling the Nest
65
Relationships
81
Weddings
97
Communication Tips
165
Conclusion
183
Yours to Write
193
How to Start a Support Group
195
Further Readings
197
Films and Videos
201
Literature for Books Clubs
207
Notes
209

Grandparenting
109
Money
127
Eternal Triangles
149

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About the author (2008)

Dr. Ruth Nemzoff is a resident scholar at Brandeis University's Women's Studies Research Center and lectures widely on family dynamics. Her papers are archived at the Schlesinger Library at Harvard University where she also holds a doctorate in social policy. She has served three terms in the New Hampshire legislature and is the mother of four adult children. She lives in Newton, MA with her husband Harris Berman.

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