Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years

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Macmillan, Jun 17, 2000 - Family & Relationships - 348 pages
3 Reviews
Finally, a Dr. Spock for College Parents

Does your daughter call home in tears over the latest "crisis," leaving you feeling helpless and concerned? Is your son confused about his major? When children leave for college many parents feel uncertain about their shifting role. By emphasizing the importance of being a mentor, Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money shows that parents may have lost control over their college student, but they haven't lost influence.

Brimming with humorous case examples and realistic dialogues, this comprehensive guide covers the fundamental college issues, including:
* Preparing for College: what to bring, how to stay in touch, and how to handle money
* Adjusting Socially: roommates, stress, time management, and Greek life
* The Search for Identity: intimate relationships, choosing a major, and lifestyle and value decisions
* Handling Crises: depression, drug and alcohol abuse, dropping out, and eating disorders
* Postgraduate Choices: job hunting, internships, and graduate schools
 

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Not very good when it comes to suggesting tips - just describes some really specific senarios without any solution presented. If I wanted a soap on kids, I would sooner watch degrassi. Learn more from that show about my kids than this book (if you can call it even that...) also, it is written like a research paper in some parts - not at all accessible to the general public  

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Contents

Letting Go but Still Showing That You Care Laying the Groundwork for a New Kind of Relationship with Your Child
1
Adding a New Dimension to Your Parenting Role
2
Essential Skills for Mentors
3
Closed and Open Questions
5
Why Questions Communication Stoppers
8
I Statements Beyond Blaming
9
Missing Home
10
The Replay
12
The Academic Experience
171
Professors vs Teaching Assistants
173
Academic Difficulty
175
Grade Reporting and Transcripts
177
Life Outside of the Classroom
180
Psychological Services
183
Residence Hall Staff
185
Legal Trouble
186

Choosing a Major
15
Changing Majors
17
The Replay
19
Fall Trip
23
Academic Probation
24
The Replay
26
Want to Know More?
30
Getting Them Off to College Preparing Yourself and Your Child for the Transition
32
Getting Organized
33
Helping Your Child Decide What to Bring
36
Computers
37
Money
38
Credit CardsChecking Accounts
39
Health Insurance
40
Planning to Stay in Touch
41
Visiting Your Child
42
OrientationSendoff Parties
43
Returning Home
45
Going It Alone
47
Want to Know More?
50
Roommates Fraternity Parties Allnighters Changing Majors and Hanging Out Adjustment During the First Year
51
Adjustment Issues
52
Academic Adjustment
56
The Replay
58
Roommates and Residence Hall Living
60
Stress and Pressure
63
Making the Transition from High School and Home
65
Finding a Social Niche
67
The Freshman 10 Weight Issues
68
Greek Life
69
Time Management and Working on Campus
72
SportsAthletics
74
Top Parent Concerns
77
Safety
78
Health
79
Drinking Drugs and Sex
82
Drinking
83
Drugs
85
Sexuality Your Son
87
Sexuality Your Daughter
89
Your Adjustment Issues
91
Want to Know More?
92
Is Your Child Confident Confused or Coasting? The Search for Identity and Autonomy
93
Identity
94
Friends
96
Opposites Attract
98
Intimate Relationships
99
Career Choices and Majors
101
Confident Confused or Coasting
102
An Identity Formation Model
103
ValuesLifestyle
105
ValuesReligion
106
ValuesPolitics
109
ValuesCharacter Issues
112
Special Identity Issues for College Women
113
A Chilly Climate for Women
115
Having It All
116
Identity Issues for Ethnic and Racial Minority Students
119
Finding Comfort in a Shared Background
122
Interracial Dating
123
Identity Issues for Gay Lesbian and Bisexual Students
126
The Replay
127
Coming OutYour Daughter
130
Autonomy
132
Parents Weekend
133
Big Trouble
135
How Parenting Styles Relate to the Search for Identity and Autonomy
138
Want to Know More?
141
Just When You Get Used to the Empty Nest Theyre Back Coping with Continuing Changes in the Family
143
The Empty Nest
144
The Lone Sibling
146
The Boomerang Effect
148
Single Parent
151
First Generation to Go to College
152
Other Family Changes
154
Divorce
157
Death of a Grandparent
159
Religious Changes
161
Lifestyle Changes
163
Families That Resist Change
165
What to Know More?
169
What to Expect from the CollegeUniversity Faculty Advising and Other Services for Students
170
Additional Programs and Services on Campus
188
Dean of Students Office
189
Financial Aid
190
Student Employment Office
191
Campus Crisis Services
192
Campus Religious Organizations
193
OffCampus Housing Office
194
Parents Programs
195
Educational and Campus Vacations
196
Want to Know More?
197
One Thousand Dollars a Week for a College Education Dealing with Money Issues and Understanding the Value of a College Education
198
Money Issues Beyond Tuition
199
Renting an Apartment
200
Spring Break on a Credit Card
201
Fraternities Sororities and Social Clubs
203
Working Away from Home for the Summer
204
The Unpaid Summer Internship
206
Study Abroad
208
A Car on Campus Luxury or Necessity?
210
Change in Family Income
212
The Value of a College Education
214
Majoring in Underemployment
215
Want to Know More?
218
So YOU Always Wanted to Be a Doctor Career Expectations Academic Choices and the Value of Practical Experience
219
How Majors Relate to Careers
220
Changing from Engineering to Liberal Arts
221
The Importance of Practical Experience
225
Evolving Career Goals
227
Choosing Teaching Instead of Premed
228
You Want Your Child to Be a Doctor or Lawyer
232
The Value of Internships
233
Job Security
236
What Is Job Security Today Parent to Parent
239
Want to Know More?
241
When to Worry When to Act Dealing with Problems and Crises and Knowing the Difference
242
Normal Developmental Struggles
243
Stress
245
Serious Problems
247
Depression
248
Manic Depression
252
Sexual Harassment
254
Eating Disorders
258
Illness
261
Loss and Grief
262
Other Problem Areas
264
Rape
267
Alcohol Abuse
270
Drug Abuse
272
ViolenceCrime
274
Pregnancy
276
How to Obtain Help from the College if Theres a Problem or Crisis
278
What to Know More?
280
If They Leave College Will They Ever Get Back on Track? The Challenges and Benefits of Taking Time Off
282
Being Asked to Leave
283
A Leave with a Silver Lining
286
Choosing to Leave
288
College Seems Meaningless
290
Transferring to Another College
292
Taking Time Off
293
Dropping Out for Good
295
Want to Know More?
297
Understanding Your Childs Postgraduate Choices Graduate School or Job?
298
Graduate School Now or Later?
299
Fear of Job Hunting
300
Delaying the Decision
302
What Graduate Program Would Be Best?
304
Graduate Business School
306
PhD in Science
308
Applying to Law School
310
Medical School
314
The First Job and the Floundering Period After College
316
Following Your Heart
319
Career Confident
321
Working Abroad
323
Your Son the Banker
324
Making Sense of Getting That First Job Parent to Parent
326
Life in the Big City After a Trip to Europe
329
The Uncertain Future Parent to Parent
332
Want to Know More?
334
About the Authors
335
Copyright

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About the author (2000)

Helen Johnson founded and directed Cornell University's first Parents' Program. She has worked for more than twenty-five years in higher education as a writer, career center director, assistant dean of students, and program manager. She is the parent of two recent college graduates and lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

Christine Schelhas-Miller teaches adolescent development in the department of human development at Cornell University and is a consultant to independent, secondary schools on issues related to adolescent development. For over twenty years she has worked in higher education, providing academic, personal, and career counseling to students. She is the parent of two children and lives in Ithaca, New York.

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