Eats, Poops & Leaves: The Essential Apologies, Rationalizations, and Downright Denials Every New Paren t Needs to Know and Other Fundamentals of Baby Etiquette
Because What You Don’t Know, Will Embarrass You.
What should you do if your baby shrieks at a wedding or “stealth vomits” on an innocent bystander? How can you use your child to avoid old friends you never liked in the first place? Is there a polite way to encourage cash baby-shower gifts or determine whether or not your babysitter is insane? Are there special rules for parentally impaired drivers?
Eats, Poops & Leaves has the answers to all these questions and more, offering polite yet innovative solutions to the etiquette situations—from the mundane to the bizarre—that confront all new parents, including:
Travel Etiquette: What to do when your baby screams on a plane
Workplace Etiquette: How to use your child (or your friend's!) as an excuse for tardiness and incompetence
Beauty Etiquette: Do strangers confuse your bald baby girl for a boy? We've got solutions.
Lots of books teach you how to change diapers, but this is the first book that will help you trick your spouse into doing it. At last, a hip, hysterical, illustrated etiquette guide to the things new parents really need to know.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
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First etiquette rule for husbandsnever ever say something
WI IAT GOES IN MUST COME OUT PEEING POOPING
MEDICAL I TIQUITTTE 9 1
PEER I_IIQUI_IIIi III
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actually and/or avoid Baby Einstein baby etiquette baby showers Baby Songs BABY TRANSPORTATION baby's Beneﬁt birth bite Bjorn blanket bottle breast breast-feeding breathing bring the baby Calvin Klein car seat child crib CRIB NOTES cute D I D Y O U K N O W deﬁnitely doula drunk epidural ETIQUETTE TIP excuse FAMILY BOX feel Ferber method ﬁgure ﬁnd ﬁrst FRIENDS AND FAMILY getting gift give Glenn Frey go ahead Grandparents Gymboree hair hand Honey husband infant kids look meltdown minivan moms mother nanny nanny-cam night Nonbaby nursing option outﬁt parents party passive-aggressive pediatrician person pick play-date Poops POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION preschool question reason rebuttal Regift remember shower shrieking sleep smile someone sperm donor spill spouse stain Stone Phillips strategy stroller sure swim diapers T-shirt technique thing toddler vomit wedding women Youn