Eats, Poops & Leaves: The Essential Apologies, Rationalizations, and Downright Denials Every New Parent Needs to Know and Other Fundamentals of Baby Etiquette

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Crown Publishing Group, 2005 - Humor - 190 pages
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Because What You Don’t Know, Will Embarrass You.

What should you do if your baby shrieks at a wedding or “stealth vomits” on an innocent bystander? How can you use your child to avoid old friends you never liked in the first place? Is there a polite way to encourage cash baby-shower gifts or determine whether or not your babysitter is insane? Are there special rules for parentally impaired drivers?

Eats, Poops & Leaveshas the answers to all these questions and more, offering polite yet innovative solutions to the etiquette situations—from the mundane to the bizarre—that confront all new parents, including:

Travel Etiquette: What to do when your baby screams on a plane

Workplace Etiquette: How to use your child (or your friend's!) as an excuse for tardiness and incompetence

Beauty Etiquette: Do strangers confuse your bald baby girl for a boy? We've got solutions.

Lots of books teach you how to change diapers, but this is the first book that will help you trick your spouse into doing it. At last, a hip, hysterical, illustrated etiquette guide to the things new parents really need to know.

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About the author (2005)

Adam Wasson is the coauthor of The Self-Destruction Handbook. His three-year-old daughter already beats him at Scrabble, but that’s because she uses words like wxiblhee.

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