Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "happiest" Time of Her Life

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Hudson Street Press, 2006 - Family & Relationships - 230 pages
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For the bride who thinks she should be blissfully happy-but is freaking out instead-a smart, compassionate guide to surviving the emotional upheaval of engagement

At last-you're newly engaged, with a beautiful ring on your finger and a great guy on your arm. There are parties planned in your honor, and you've found the dress of your dreams. This should be the happiest time of your life, right?

Not necessarily. The elation of engagement is often accompanied by a cocktail of unexpected emotions: Anxiety about making a lifelong commitment. Sadness about leaving your single life behind. Confusion when even simple decisions-should we serve chicken cordon bleu or beef Wellington?-bring you to tears. Worst of all, since everyone around you expects you to be happy, few brides feel there's anyone (who won't judge them) to go to with these conflicting feelings.

Emotionally Engaged is the guide distressed brides-to-be can turn to for help in determining which of these emotions are normal and even necessary, and which might indicate a real problem. Psychotherapist Allison Moir-Smith, founder of Emotionally Engaged Counseling for Brides, shares with readers her three-stage, tried-and-true process from her workshops and individual therapy sessions, offering insight, guidance, tips, and techniques for becoming an emotionally engaged bride-and wife.

"Framing the transition from fiancée to wife as an identity change was really validating. I found it particularly useful-and fascinating-to learn about others' experiences."
-Emotionally Engaged workshop participant, three months before her wedding

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User Review  - kateminasian - LibraryThing

A much more engaging read now that I've start planning my wedding, as opposed to previously when I had no idea when the wedding was going to be. The book really does make you think about your emotions ... Read full review

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I wish I had found this about 5 months ago- or heck, right after I got engaged!!! It was such an emotional time and I felt SO insanely guilty for my process...thank God for my Sister, mom and Aunt and those that could deal with it (a little bit)...but mostly, I have to thank my insides for trusting myself, or else my wedding (in 4 days) would probably be making me make some HUGE mistakes! I also realize now why brides sometimes have that distant look in their eye the closer they get to marriage, I always thought, how funny, that dressing up would make people feel so crazy...but it's SO much more than that. I'm sorry for my judgement of brides past now that I know what exactly that look may intale for them. I recommend this book for the happiest, saddest, and most confused brides to be out there. You will not be dissappointed and you will have outlets for those what I called "frozen can't stop watching Teen Mom" moments. You will find you are not only not alone, but you will wonder why Oprah isn't doing shows on this every year. It might start to prevent our insane divorce statistics from continually rising in this country! But as a thoughtful bride to be myself, that's just how I see things. No matter what, a person has got to address everything coming up sooer or later- let it be sooner than later...and it's not so scary when you finally know what questions are that you REALLY need to ask. Thank you Allison! (JJ NYC) 


The Happiest Time of My Life?
The Fantasy vs the Reality of Being
Grieving the

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About the author (2006)

Allison Moir-Smith, MA, a psychotherapist, founded Emotionally Engaged Counseling for Brides in 2002. An expert on cold feet and engagement anxiety, she has appeared on the Today show and Good Morning America and been featured in Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and Elle.

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