Fidelity: What It Means to Be a One-Woman Man

Front Cover
Canon Press, 2004 - Family & Relationships - 168 pages
3 Reviews
We live in a time when marital fidelity is under assault. Driven by the forces of relativism, our society attacks sexual faithfulness on numerous fronts. The push for homosexual marriages, for example, comes at the end of the fall into perversion, not the beginning. Faithless husbands began the fall long ago, and our culture, with all its washed-out self-help books, fails to address the real problem -- sin. Addressed to men, Fidelity hits hard, using clear language and focusing on specific sins with specific solutions: adultery, divorce, polygamy, celibacy, pornography, and more. But in the end, the antidote to all sexual temptation is simple -- the godly honoring of the marriage bed: "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Heb. 13:4).

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From a man's perspective, the specificity and bluntness was refreshing and needed, and not indiscrete. We need to be confronted with the muddle of sin that is our desires, by having it described and defined and shown to us for the sin it is. Wilson tackles these pervasive issues head on, with wisdom. 

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The subtitle to this book is What It Means To Be a One-Woman Man. I like that. It’s a core values thing, a biblical directive. However, Mr. Wilson warns his readers that what he has to say is for "Christian men and their sons" and that “some of what is said here may be offensive to some Christian women. . .” (p. 13)
Unfortunately, some of what is said in this book should be offensive to some Christian men and their sons as well. He apparently thinks that Christian men use the same coarse language he does when discussing sex. I am sad to admit that I understood what he meant in some passages, but I doubt if our sons would have. I would much rather an author use medical terms when discussing private parts and sexual acts than “street talk.” I think a little more discretion could have been used.
For another thing, there is some sexual conduct which I do not believe is according to Creation ("the natural use of the woman" as in Romans 1:27) and could actually lead to the spread of certain STDs associated with those practices. (Because of younger readers, I cannot be more specific.)
Because of the language used and the unhealthy sexual practices permitted, my husband and I cannot suggest that our sons read it. That is unfortunate, because this issue should be raised among our young men. I’m afraid we will have to seek someone else to do it.
Marcia Wilwerding

About the author (2004)

Douglas Wilson is senior pastor at Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho, and senior fellow of theology at New Saint Andrews College. He writes widely on theology, culture, education, and family life in such books as Reforming Marriage, Future Men, and Fidelity. Visit

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