Fondling Your Muse

Front Cover
Writer's Digest Books, Sep 15, 2005 - Language Arts & Disciplines - 198 pages
1 Review
A note from the author: "Writing is a solitary and often scary enterprise. I alone have heard your silent screams, so I have written this book to help you achieve what everyone who has the courage to live the creative life deserves: complete, utter, slavish adoration and worship. Also: incalculable wealth that insulates you from the concerns of ordinary people."

&break;&break;And there you have it. Fondling Your Muse is John Warner's innovative and slightly insane book of instruction for those who want to write, and those who think they already can. It's packed with quirky (possibly deranged) advice guaranteed to make you laugh out loud in the most embarrassing fashion possible. You know what we mean. It also includes a special chapter entitled "Everything Stephen King Knows About Writing Successfully: Plus Some Things I Know That He Doesn't Because He Isn't That Special." No other book currently available has this chapter!

&break;&break;And Fondling Your Muse provides the kind of wise, insightful guidance that's missing from all of those self-serious, mind-numbingly awful books that promise riches and fame by writing only 20 minutes a day.

&break;&break;Let's say you're looking for a tried-and-true recipe for literary success. Warner reveals all of the best ones, including these succulent concoctions:&break;&break;Contemporary Romance Quiche al la Nicholas Sparks ("Tasty with a side of hackneyed potatoes.") &break;Tom Clancy Techno-Thriller Surprise ("Preparation is usually subcontracted to others.")&break;Chick-Lit Cacciatore ("Satisfies many, every single time. I can't explain how either.")&break;Harlequin Romance Salad ("Thoroughly rip bodices, pound prose until purple, and combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl.")&break;John Grisham's Legal Thriller Stew ("Boil in pot until ingredients bubble over line of believability.")&break;Contemporary American Literary Fiction Flambe ("Served in smaller and smaller quantities as the years go by.")&break;&break;It doesn't get any better than that. So go ahead - get Fondling today!

 

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - whitewavedarling - LibraryThing

First, some confessions: 1) I LOVE the title. I absolutely unapologetically LOVE and ADORE this title. Alone, it would have been enough for me to buy the book. 2) I used to share an office with the ... Read full review

Review: Fondling Your Muse: Infallible Advice from a Published Author to a Writerly Aspirant/A Hands-On Guide to Writing Your Very Own New York Ti

User Review  - Avital Gad-Cykman - Goodreads

If it's John's then it's contemporary and full of irony. Read full review

Contents

VII
6
VIII
11
IX
15
X
19
XI
22
XII
23
XIII
28
XIV
31
XXXII
105
XXXIII
106
XXXIV
109
XXXV
113
XXXVI
117
XXXVII
118
XXXVIII
123
XXXIX
128

XV
36
XVI
39
XVII
41
XVIII
48
XIX
51
XX
56
XXI
58
XXII
62
XXIII
67
XXIV
70
XXV
73
XXVI
78
XXVII
79
XXVIII
83
XXIX
89
XXX
92
XXXI
95
XL
132
XLI
143
XLII
144
XLIII
147
XLIV
152
XLV
156
XLVI
160
XLVII
165
XLVIII
169
XLIX
174
L
178
LI
182
LII
186
LIII
192
LIV
194
Copyright

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About the author (2005)

John Warner is a successful editor of many books and has published many popular novels with his unique writing ability.

Bibliographic information