For the Gaiety of Nations: Fun and Philosophy from the American Newspaper Humorists

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Dodge Publishing Company, 1909 - American wit and humor - 60 pages
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Page 60 - There are two reasons, says the '' Harvard Lampoon," why some people don't mind their own business.
Page 25 - ... milk, and automatic alarm to regulate supply. A quaint little craft called Innocence, laden with simplicity and love. A curious bud of uncertain blossom. A thing we are expected to kiss, and look as if we enjoyed it. The smartest little craft afloat in home's delightful bay. A mite of humanity that will cry no harder if a pin is stuck into him than he will if the cat won't let him pull her tail. A little stranger, with a free pass to the heart's best affections. The most extensive employer of...
Page 58 - The evidence shows, Mrs. Maloney," he began, " that you threw a stone at Policeman Casey.
Page 37 - Just throw me half a dozen of the biggest of those trout," said a citizen to the fish dealer. "Throw them?" queried the dealer. "Yes, and then I'll go home and tell my wife I caught 'em. I may be a poor fisherman, but I'm no 'rar.
Page 53 - Well, Drs. Brown and Smith are going to operate upon old Gotrox
Page 27 - TIME is money and money is time, for when you give twenty-five cents to a couple of tramps it is a quarter to two.
Page 17 - BOREM : Now what would you do if you were in my shoes, Miss Cutting? Miss Cutting: I'd point the toes toward the door and give them a start. Chicago Daily News. " NOTICED you hoeing your garden M yesterday, what "Blisters mostly.
Page 25 - DID you ever notice how suddenly a timid woman who is humming an operatic air will switch off on to a religious hymn when a storm comes up and she hears the first clap of thunder? Norristown Herald.
Page 43 - I'm your only child — an' it's tough on me to be good for a lot of brothers and sisters I haven't got.
Page 51 - MURIEL: Your brother proposed to me during the service in church last Sunday. Zoe: You mustn't mind him. He often talks in his sleep.

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