Genderspeak: men, women, and the gentle art of verbal self-defense

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J. Wiley, Apr 26, 1993 - Business & Economics - 307 pages
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Communications guru Suzette Haden Elgin bridges the gender gap. In this groundbreaking book, the internationally acclaimed author of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense helps you anticipate and avoid the frustrating conversational knots in which men and women all too often find themselves entangled. Picking up where other authors leave off, Suzette Haden Elgin arms you with her proven techniques for dealing effectively with verbal confrontation in your personal and professional lives. She zeroes in on how to:
* Identify the differences between women's and men's perceptions of the world and avoid the dangerous semantic traps they create
* Distinguish between innocent and willful misunderstandings--and what to do about them
* Read body language and use it as a powerful communications tool
* Recognize and put an end to the treacherous verbal games people play
Strikingly true-to-life dialogues and scenarios illustrate each point, covering nearly every argument and misunderstanding you've ever had with somebody of the opposite sex. Empowered with Elgin's proven techniques for dealing with these situations, you'll be prepared to take full control of any verbal confrontation with your co-workers, friends, and family.

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Contents

Another Look at Scenario One
10
Some Basic Terms and Concepts for Discussing
17
Basic Facts about Language and Communication
20
Technique 1Using Millers Law
27
Oh Thats Only Semantics
36
Another Look at Scenario Three
50
The Role of Body Language in Communication
58
Technique 3Simultaneous Modeling
68
Using the Language Traffic Rules
161
Technique 8Managing Language Traffic
168
Another Look at Scenario Nine
175
Patterns of Verbal Abuse and Verbal Violence
183
Another Look at Scenario Ten
194
The Problem of Sexual Harassment
205
What to Do About ItBasic Guidelines
212
Technique 10Using Metaphors as a Basis for Choosing Roles
220

Dialogues for Analysis
74
Hostility Loops
83
Another Look at Scenario Five
98
Mountains or Molehills?
105
What to Do About ItReview
108
Another Look at Scenario Six
115
How to ComplainAnd Still Be Heard
123
Another Look at Scenario Seven
133
How Metaphors Filter Perception
143
Another Look at Scenario Eight
154
Breakdown PointsTime Space
229
Scenario Twelve continued
237
Technique 11Using Presuppositions of Location in Time and Space
243
How to Achieve Intimacy
251
Using the Metaphor
258
Dialogues for Analysis
266
Speaking the Same Language
277
References and Bibliography
293
Index
303
Copyright

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About the author (1993)

SUZETTE HADEN ELGIN, Ph.D., is an expert in applied psycholinguistics and the founder of the Ozark Center for Language Studies. She is the author of 23 books, including the bestselling the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense books, as well as textbooks and novels.