Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

Harville Hendrix

Macmillan, 2001 - Family & Relationships - 303 pages

The bestselling guide to transforming an intimate relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship., with a new foreword and chapter from the author
In "Getting the Love You Want," Dr. Harville Hendrix presents the relationship skills that have already helped hundreds of thousands of couples to replace confrontation and criticism with a healing process of mutual growth and support. This extraordinary practical guide describes the revolutionary technique of Imago Relationship Therapy, which combines a number of disciplines--including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, among others-- to create a program to resolve conflict and renew communication and passion.
"Getting the Love You Want" describes the three stages of intimate relationships, provides illustrative case studies and gives helpful recommendations to overcome the obstacles in those stages to create a stronger bond between couples. First, he chronicles the stages of most relationships-attraction, romantic love and the power struggle-and suggests ways for partners to identify the conflicts associated with each of them. Then, he explores methods for achieving a "Conscious Marriage," where the early phases of romance are rekindled and confrontation is slowly replaced by growth and support. Finally, Dr. Hendrix incorporates these ideas into a unique therapeutic course, offering a series of proven exercises that lead to insight, resolution and revitalization. Step by step, he describes how to communicate with greater accuracy and sensitivity, how to let go of self-defeating behaviors, and how to focus energy on meeting each partners' needs.
With" Getting the Love You Want" couples in any stage of a relationship can resolve their conflicts and achieve mutual emotional satisfaction.

What people are saying

LibraryThing Review

User Review  - PJCWLibrary - LibraryThing

After over 20 years, my wife and I still use this book.

LibraryThing Review

User Review  - alanwkelly - LibraryThing

Reading it cover to cover, I've learned skills and practiced same in everyday communication.

Contents

• The Mystery of Attraction: 3
• Childhood Wounds: 34
• Romantic Love: 45
• The Power Struggle: 63
• Becoming Conscious: 85
• Closing Your Exits: 100
• Creating a Zone of Safety: 115
• Increasing Your Knowledge of Yourself: 131
• Defining Your Curriculum: 157
• Containing Rage: 176
• Portrait of Two Marriages: 203
• THE EXERCISES: 245
• Ten Steps Toward a Conscious Marriage: 247
• Your Relationship Vision: 253
• Childhood Wounds: 255
• Imago Workup: 256
• Childhood Frustrations: 257
• Partner Profile: 258
• Unfinished Business: 260
• The Couples Dialogue: 261
• The NoExit Decision: 264
• Reromanticizing: 267
• EXERCISE IO The Surprise List: 270
• The Fun List: 271
• Stretching: 272
• Container Transaction: 275
• Container Days: 276
• SelfIntegration: 277
• Visualization of Love: 280
• Seeking Professional Help: 281
• Notes: 285
• Bibliography: 299

About the author

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., has more than thirty-five years of experience as an educator and therapist. He specializes in working with couples in private practice, teaching marital therapy to therapists, and conducting couples workshops across the country. Dr. Hendrix is the co-founder with his wife, Helen Lakelly Hunt, and president of the Institute for Imago Relationship Therapy, based in Winter Park, Florida.

Bibliographic information

• Title: Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
• Author: Harville Hendrix
• Edition: reprint, revised
• Publisher: Macmillan, 2001
• ISBN: 0805068953, 9780805068955
• Length: 303 pages
• Subjects: Family & Relationships / Interpersonal Relations; Family & Relationships / Love & Romance; Family & Relationships / Marriage & Long-Term Relationships