Handy as I Wanna be: A Novel with Tools
Meet Vinnie Agita -- the Raging Bull of Home Repair, the Hunka-Hunka Handy Love, and all around Godfather of Do-It-Yourself-Soul. If you've ever had an uncontrollable urge to grout the bathroom tiles...if you've ever said "don't call a plumber, honey -- let me handle this!"...then you'll see goggle-to-goggle with Vince Rause's outrageous alter ego in Handy As I Wanna Be
Here are the hilarious and poignantly obsessive yearnings of a Handyman's Everyman, a humble guy who hasn't met a home repair project he didn't have to tackle. Vinnie Agita's tool-intensive tale is a marvel of handydom packed with excellent, practical home repair advice, which has prompted critics to proclaim, "It's riveting, magnetic -- will lock you in with the power of its viselike grip!"
Well, not really.
Vinnie is a man whose life revolves around two great passions: his bottomless love for his wife -- the luminously beautiful but increasingly irritable Angela -- and his tireless quest to push the limits of home repair to the ridiculous extreme. For Vinnie, handiness is no hobby -- it's a gestalt, a defining credo. In his own words, "It's the halogen worklamp that brightens the long dark night of the soul".
For Angie, it's more like a big, throbbing pain in the keister.
That's because misadventures plague Vinnie -- he is falsely arrested while trying to break into his own home (testing his new home security system); he innocently mistakes a holy man's ashes for Portland cement, and he takes out the neighbor's garden gnomes with a few misfires from a lethal nail gun.
Things finally come to a head on the day when long-suffering Angela returns from the hair salon to find her home nestled beneath the bloatedlatex loins of a three-story inflatable chicken plundered from the Thanksgiving Day parade. At Angie's insistence, Vinnie consults a shrink, Dr. Nick, the one person who may help him get in touch with his wounded "inner handyman" and win back the woman he loves.
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