Healthy Dependency: Leaning on Others Without Losing Yourself

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Harper Collins, Aug 19, 2009 - Psychology - 272 pages
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From the psychologist who coined the phrase "healthy dependency"—the first and only book that outlines its four key steps and helps readers understand and use these principles to achieve balance in love, in friendships, with family, and at work.

The research is clear: Too much dependency in our relationships can be a bad thing, but too little dependency is just as bad. Healthy dependency—that flexible middle ground between rigid independence and unhealthy overdependence—is the ability to balance intimacy and autonomy, lean on others while maintaining a strong sense of self, and feel good (not guilty) about asking for help when you need it.

The authors' studies confirm that healthy dependency brings a wealth of positive effects including:

  • increased satisfaction in love relationships
  • greater likelihood of academic and career success
  • better family communication and improved parenting skills
  • enhanced physical and psychological health

This unique book, meticulously organized and laced throughout with case studies, anecdotes, relationship-style questionnaires, and research findings, draws from the authors' more than 20 years of research and clinical experience. A valuable guide to achieving healthy relationships between men and women of all ages, it will help readers identify where they are on the relationship continuum, and understand the skills they will need to address in order to strengthen their personal, professional, and family relationships.

 

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Healthy Dependency: Leaning on Others Without Losing Yourself

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Yes, Virginia, dependency can be healthy-at least according to Bornstein, a professor of psychology at Gettysburg College who specializes in dependency issues, and his wife Languirand, a private ... Read full review

Contents

Followership
Collegiality
Mentorship
Model Employee Nightmare Retiree
Healthy Dependency During Difficult Times
Lifes Transitions
Three Phases of Coping
Two Spouses Two Ways of Coping

From Healthy Dependency to Destructive Overdependence
From Healthy Dependency to Dysfunctional Detachment
The Flaw in Her SelfAssured Veneer
Your Responses to Overdependence and Detachment
The Three Key Qualities of Healthy Relationships
Recognizing and Responding to Overdependence
A Counterdependent Therapist
Recognizing and Responding to Detachment
Healthy Dependency Across Situations
Loves Unique Challenges
Overdependent Love
Detached Love
No More Dueling Dependencies
The Healthy Dependent Friend
Four Types of Friendships Four Distinct Challenges
An Unusual Intermittent Friendship
Reconnecting with the Overdependent Friend
Reconnecting with the Detached Friend
From Romance and Friendship to Parents and Siblings or out of the Frying Pan into the Fire
Roles Alliances and Power Centers
Healthy Dependency with Parents
Healthy Dependency with Siblings
From Sibling Rivalry to Identity Distortion
The Healthy Dependent Parent
Are You a Disconnecting Parent?
Fostering Growth in the Overdependent Child
Reconnecting with the Detached Child
Adolescent Detachment and a Negative Identity
Healthy Dependency at Work
The Corporate Family
Four Modes of Healthy Career Dependency
Leadership
The Risks of Overdependence
The Risks of Detachment
The Benefits of Healthy Dependency
Healthy Dependency and Successful Aging
Old Problems ReEmerge
Destructive GrandmotherGrandson EnmeshmentFrom Compliance to Anger to the Edge of Abuse
Strength and Adaptation
Turning Possibility to Reality
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
A
D
E
F
G
H
I
M
R
S
T
Y
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About the author (2009)

Robert F. Bornstein, Ph.D., is currently a professor of psychology at Gettysburg College, and has published more than 100 articles and 30 book chapters on psychological diagnosis, testing, and treatment.

Mary A. Languirand, Ph.D., is co-author of The Thinking Skills Workbook, a pioneering treatment manual for cognitive remediation in older adults. She is in full-time private practice counseling older adults and their families, as well as health professionals about the complexities of nursing home, assisted care, and in-home services. The authors are married and live in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. They are also the authors of When Someone You Love Needs Nursing Home, Assisted Living, or In-Home Care—The Complete Guide.

Robert F. Bornstein, Ph.D., is currently a professor of psychology at Gettysburg College, and has published more than 100 articles and 30 book chapters on psychological diagnosis, testing, and treatment.

Mary A. Languirand, Ph.D., is co-author of The Thinking Skills Workbook, a pioneering treatment manual for cognitive remediation in older adults. She is in full-time private practice counseling older adults and their families, as well as health professionals about the complexities of nursing home, assisted care, and in-home services. The authors are married and live in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. They are also the authors of When Someone You Love Needs Nursing Home, Assisted Living, or In-Home Care—The Complete Guide.

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