Heloise And Bellinis: A Novel
This charmingly inventive, deliciously improbable seriocomic novel opens at eleven o’clock in the morning of July 14 in the year 2000 on the Avenue d’Angleterre in Beirut. Private George Smith of the American Peace-Keeping Forces in Lebanon is breathlessly chasing a hand grenade—which he threw in the line of duty—down the street. It seems he forgot to pull the pin. At that very moment, one Heloise Svejk is crossing the street from east to west, bearing an empty coffin on her shoulder. From this unlikely encounter is born one of the great love stories of the first year of the twenty-first century, not completely unworthy of that of Heloise’s namesake nine centuries earlier.
Private Smith is a reasonably sane soldier, as sane at least as any oversized American of mixed Swedish and Austro-Hungarian descent from Alabama who has not been with a beautiful for two years can be. Now Smith knows, inevitably and irrevocably, why fate has posted him to this godforsaken city. He disappears with Heloise for all the right reasons, but for General Custer, Private Smith’s commanding officer, when you’re gone for five days you’re gone for good, fellow, and Washington is so informed. When news spreads that Smith is not dead but only hopelessly in love, the plot does not merely thicken but gets downright sticky. What will Custer tell the President? What will he tell George’s next of kin, and how will he get back the posthumous award for unusual bravery he sent her? And yes, what about this Heloise they are all drooling over? In page after page, chapter after chapter, these and countless other cosmic questions are discussed and dealt with—with mixed results, as the author is quick to point out.
Interspersed with the chapters are intermezzi in which the author muses and comments on George, Heloise, life, love, Harry’s Bar, his father Giuseppe, peach nectar and champagne cocktails (aka “bellinis”), and Cousin Wanda—not to mention Abelard himself, the inquisitive, inflexible, and highly unimaginative friend of the author to whom the intermezzi are addressed.
What people are saying - Write a review
We haven't found any reviews in the usual places.
BETWEEN CHAPTERS NINE AND TEN
BETWEEN CHAPTERS TEN AND ELEVEN
BETWEEN CHAPTERS ELEVEN AND TWELVE
BETWEEN CHAPTERS TWELVE AND THIRTEEN
BETWEEN CHAPTERS FOUR AND FIVE
BETWEEN CHAPTERS FIVE AND SIX
BETWEEN CHAPTERS SIX AND SEVEN
BETWEEN CHAPTERS SEVEN AND EIGHT
BETWEEN CHAPTERS EIGHT AND NINE
AFTER CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BETWEEN CHAPTER THIRTEEN AND CHAPTER X
There is a gap at this point The only thing certain is that George was awarded the Medal of Honor This event is described in Chapter Y and the end o...
We know only bits and pieces about the time George and Heloise spent in America After a brief stay in New York they spent more than a year with ...
THE LAST INTERMEZZO
Other editions - View all
afternoon American Amundsen aquiver Arrigo Bar in Beirut Bar in Venice beautiful Bellinis bidets bill Bolzano bottles CHAPTER THIRTEEN chevron couldn’t Countess Maecenas Countess Venier Custer asked customers Dear Abelard decided dollars door drunk END OF CHAPTER everything eyes face father felt four gave George and Heloise George’s Giuseppe goddam greeted happy Harry Cipriani Harry’s Bar Heloise’s INTERMEZZO BETWEEN CHAPTERS jeep John Custer knew laugh Lebanon little whirlwind looked Lorenza lunch Marlon Brando martini marvelous morning mother never night Nobel o’clock Ocho Rios once Pickering priest primordial woman Private George Smith Private Smith remember replied Ryland sailors seemed slowly smell smiled sound stopped story suddenly sure Suzy’s tell there’s things thought three million lire told took Torri del Benaco trying tugboat uniform usually walked what’s whiskey sour wife women wonderful Yes sir