How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame

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Harper Collins, Aug 4, 2009 - Humor - 192 pages
3 Reviews

How to be cool when you're afraid you've forgotten how . . .

Sure, you can try to stay younger by exercising, coloring your hair, and wearing stylish clothes—but how do you respond when someone asks, "Do you Twitter?" How Not to Act Old gives you simple ways to come back from over the hill and to act as young as you look.

Covering everything from old-people entertainment (cancel that dinner party!) to old-people communication (it's called a "voice mail," not a "message," and no one leaves or listens to them anyway), Pamela Redmond Satran decodes the behaviors, viewpoints, and cultural touchstones that separate you from the hip young person you wish you still were. This irreverent guide is essential for anyone who doesn't want to embarrass their kids—or themselves.

 

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - Cecilturtle - LibraryThing

Of course, only the old can truly appreciate this book... it had me laughing at loud as I read caricatures of behaviours and tongue-in-cheek advice on how to interpret and adapt to today's youth ... Read full review

Review: How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame

User Review  - Teena - Goodreads

It's a quick read (I read it in a couple hours this evening). Alas, I'm guilty of so much! Ha! Here are seven examples ... * Unstrap the Rolex - The young don't wear a watch because they can get the ... Read full review

Contents

1 Stop Using Email
1
5 Avoid Direct Confrontation
8
32 Dont Be Proud of Being Befuddled by Technology
26
47 Dont Fear the Tat
38
51 No Poodles
45
55 Dont Drink Cosmopolitans
52
60 Dont Lust after Paul McCartney
58
61 No Chronic Health Discussions
60
76 Enough with the ManBashing
75
Deathless ManBashing Jokes
76
77 Dont Fear the Silence
77
78 Dont Live in West Virginia or Greenwich Village
78
79 Dont Say the Doctor the Cop or the Teacher Looks Twelve
79
80 Cancel the Dinner Party
80
8187 How Not to Facebook Old
81
88 Crumble the Dried Flowers
83

62 Screw the Housework
61
A Young Persons Guide to Housekeeping
62
63 Break That Saturday Night Sex Routine
63
64 Stop Surfing the Net
64
65 Have No Problem
66
66 Mooch off Your Parents
67
6773 How Not to Party Old
69
74 Dont Be Shocked by a Touch of GirlonGirl
71
10Other Things Not to Be Shocked
72
75 Nix on the Negativity
73
6 Upbeat Substitutes
74
96 Torch Your Books
93
125 Dont Live in a Big House and Complain about Money
103
133 Dont Lust after the Lifeguard
115
146 Dont Count Out Exact Change
126
161 Dont Vote Republican
131
165 Stop Hoping Lauren Conrad Will Just Go Away
137
169 Garage Your Hog
143
173 Gotta Love Those Entourage Boys
149
182 Dont Talk to Strangers
162
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About the author (2009)

Pamela Redmond Satran is the author of five novels and the coauthor of many bestselling baby name books, as well as the creator of nameberry.com. A columnist for Glamour, she writes frequently for the New York Times, The Daily Beast, and The Huffington Post. She lives not all that far from Brooklyn and plans to act thirty-three forever.

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