How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them--A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide

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Harper Collins, Mar 17, 2009 - Reference - 272 pages
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"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring novelist extorted.

"Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful writing.'"

"But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every tome available on how to write well and get published!" The writer tossed his head about, wildly.

"It might help," opined the blonde editor, helpfully, "to ponder how NOT to write a novel, so you might avoid the very thing!"

Many writing books offer sound advice on how to write well. This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.

In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

 

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How not to write a novel: 200 classic mistakes and how to avoid them--a misstep-by-misstep guide

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Offering observations rather than rules ("'No right on red' is a rule. 'Driving at high speed toward a brick wall usually ends badly' is an observation"), authors and editors Mittlemark and Newman ... Read full review

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១»valentine's day ជាថៃ្ងផើ្តមស្នែហ៏ដំបូង
បងទុកនៅក្នុងបេះដូង ជាយូរហើយណាជីវ៉ា
ទើបតែពេលនេះ បងលួចសុំស្នែហ៏ា
តែបងមិនហ៊ានប្រាប់ថាបងស្រលាញ់អូនុ។
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ថៃ្ងដែលបងបានតស៊ូរ ដើម្បីស្នែហ៊ាដំបូង
បងចងប្រាប់នួនល្អង ថាបងស្រលាញ់អូន
ថៃ្ងដែលផ្តើមស្នែហ៏ដំបូង valentine's day
 

Contents

CHARACTER
53
STYLE The Basics
99
STYLEPerspective and Voice
153
THE WORLD OF THE BAD NOVEL
187
Background
199
Theme
211
SPECIAL EFFECTS AND NOVELTY
225
HOW NOT TO SELL A NOVEL
239
Afterword
257
About the Authors
263
Copyright

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About the author (2009)

Writer and editor Howard Mittelmark's book reviews and essays have appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, Philadelphia Inquirer, Hollywood Reporter, Writer's Digest, and other publications. He is the author of the novel Age of Consent.

Sandra Newman is the author of The Only Good Thing Anyone Has Ever Done, which was short-listed for the Guardian First Book Award. She is also the author of the novel Cake; the memoir, Changeling; How Not to Write a Novel, an irreverent how-to guide with Howard Mittelmark; and The Western Lit Survival Kit. She lives in New York.

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