How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving This beloved book has touched hundreds of thousands of lives with its profound and actionable advice. Retaining the core message of becoming more mindful in our relationships, this edition includes new and revised material that addresses how we live and love today. A new preface touches on David Richo’s experience with the book over time and outlines the key updates, including attention to online dating and modern communication styles as well as new perspectives on anger and ending relationships. “Most people think of love as a feeling,” says Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships. Adult love is based on a mutual commitment to what Richo calls the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. Brimming with practical exercises for couples and singles, How to Be an Adult in Relationships offers heartening insights into a lifelong journey of love. Topics include: • Becoming conscious of our relationship patterns and how they relate to childhood • Recognizing and attracting someone who can show adult love • Understanding the phases relationships go through • Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries • Overcoming fears of abandonment and engulfment • Expressing anger and other emotions in adult and loving ways • Surviving break-ups with our self-esteem intact • Understanding love as a spiritual journey |
Contents
Introduction | 1 |
HOW IT ALL BEGAN | 7 |
A Positive Spin on How It Was and | 18 |
The Keys That Open | 24 |
Unconditional Presence versus | 39 |
LOVE AND LESS | 55 |
What Hurts Us Comforts Us | 61 |
Light on the Hurt | 67 |
The Past in the Present | 142 |
Healthy Anger | 148 |
Practices | 154 |
FEARS RUSH INAND DANGERS TOO | 171 |
Infidelity | 177 |
Practices | 184 |
LETTING GO OF EGO | 195 |
Anatomy of the Impoverished Ego | 202 |
Practices | 73 |
FINDING A PARTNER | 83 |
What Are We Up To? | 89 |
Sexualizing Our Needs | 97 |
HIGH ROMANCE | 111 |
When Romance Is Addictive | 119 |
Practices | 125 |
WHEN CONFLICTS ARISE | 133 |
Practices | 208 |
OUR COMMITMENT AND HOW IT DEEPENS | 221 |
An Enduring Bond | 228 |
WHEN RELATIONSHIPS END | 247 |
When Somebody Leaves You | 257 |
Epilogue | 265 |
About the Author | 287 |
Other editions - View all
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving David Richo Limited preview - 2002 |
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving David Richo Limited preview - 2021 |
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving David Richo No preview available - 2021 |
Common terms and phrases
abandonment abuse accept addiction adult relationships affection allow anger appreciation attachment attention become behavior believe blame bodhisattva bond Buddha-nature Carl Jung childhood choices closeness codependent commitment compassion conflict D. W. Winnicott deepest needs disappointment ego ideal egoless experience extrovert face fear feel loved five A's forgiveness gifts giving and receiving go of ego grace grief grieve happen happiness healing healthy ego heart hold human hurt inner child intimacy introvert issues Jesse keep let go live lojong look loving-kindness matter means meditation mindfully mindfulness mindsets mirroring need fulfillment neediness neurotic ego never notice ourselves pain parents partner past path person phase psyche psychological reactions reality relating resolve response romance seek Selene self-esteem sense sexual someone spiritual practice stay style therapy things trust trying twelve-step program unconditional love vulnerability W. B. Yeats wishes